To write the second part of the opening (Part 2)

Key Stage 2

English

The BFG - Narrative Writing

﻿Hello everyone, I'm Miss Saab. Welcome to another BFG lesson. Today we're going to be doing some writing together and I cannot wait to see all of your amazing writing. Today we're going to write the second part of the opening. Last lesson we started writing the second part of the opening and today we're going to carry on. First we're going to recap compound sentences, then we're going to order the second part of the opening, after that we're going to orally rehearse sentences to help us get ready to write the second part of the opening. In this lesson you will need an exercise book or a paper, a pencil and your brains to be switched on. So can you pause the video now to grab your pencil and your paper. Great. We can start our learning. First we're going to recap compound sentences. Can you help me to define what's a compound sentence is by filling in these blanks. You have got some words underneath to help you fill those blanks. A compound sentence consists of two mm joined by a mm either mm or mm pause the video now to have a go at filling in those blanks. Let's check. A compound sentence consists of two main clauses joined together by a coordinating conjunction either buts, or, or and. And we said that we can remember the three coordinating conjunctions by thinking of a BOA's snake. B for buts, O for or, A for and. We also must remember to use a comma before but and a comma before or. And doesn't need a comma. I would like you now to write two compound sentences. So, I have started you off, but you need to finish them off. Both compound sentences starting the same way, but the coordinating conjunctions are different. So, I started off with her heart raced wildly, but, but mm Her heart raced wildly, and, mm So, remember but is used to talk about two opposing ideas, maybe a negative and a positive. So, her heart raced wildly. That's quite negative. It's not a nice feeling to have that, but what did she do? And then for the second compound sentence, we are using the coordinated conjunction and, which is used to add another idea. So maybe, you could think of another way to show not tell how Sophie was feeling when she saw the figure. Can you pause the video now to have a go at writing your compound sentences. And remember, but needs a comma before it. okay. Pause the video now and have a go. I wonder what you came up with. Here are my ideas. Her heart raced wildly, but she couldn't resist looking again. So, even though her heart was racing wildly, and maybe it would have been best for her to step away from the window, she decided to look again and she saw the figure and she got even more scared. And then for the second compound sentence, I wrote her heart raced wildly and her legs wobbled uncontrollably. So that's another way to show not tell that she was feeling petrified when she saw the figure outside. Check that you have your comma before your buts. Great. Let's move on to the next section. We are now going to order the second part of the opening. In what order did these things happen? Sophie saw the figure. Sophie walked to the window. Sophie looked out of the window and Mrs. Clonkers shouted at Sophie. Can you pause the video now to write the letters, A, B, C, and D in the correct order on your piece of paper. Pause the video now to have a go. Let's check. The correct order is Sophie walked to the window, Mrs. Clonkers shouted at Sophie. Sophie looked out of the window. Sophie saw the figure. So the correct order for the letters is B D C, and finally A. You know this really well now because we've done it more than once Now we're going to orally rehearse sentences to prepare us for our writing. We are first going to recap some key vocabulary that we have looked at before, and this vocabulary can help you with your writing today. So feel free to steal whatever you want, write it on your piece of paper so that you can then use it in your writing. So, we thought of different ways to refer to the figure. In this part of the opening, we see the figure for the first time. And if we are writing about the figure, we don't want to always say the figure, the figure, the figure, the figure. So, we can say creature instead, we can say giant or silhouette instead. And we also thought of lots of adjectives to describe what the figure looks like. Now, there are three adjectives in there colossal, towering and gargantuan. Can you remember what these words mean? Let's do my turn your turn, my turn, your turn first, and then you can have a go at matching those words with their definitions. Towering. Gargantuan. Colossal. Great. Now can you pause the video to have a go at matching the words to its definition. Let's check. So towering means extremely tall, like a mountain looming over you. Gargantuan means huge or enormous, like a giant who towers above you in the air. Colossal means massive or gigantic, like a huge statue that makes you feel tiny in comparison. So you can use these adjectives to describe the figures appearance. I would like you now to pause the video, to have a look at the other words that we came up with to describe the setting and how Sophie was feeling at different points in the second part of the opening. Pause the video now to have a look and write down anything that you would like to use in your writing. You are so ready for your writing. Let's think of different ways to show not tell how Sophie was feeling in the second part of the opening. She was feeling afraid throughout the second part of the opening. We want to think of ways to show this feeling. So what's happens to our face, body and voice when we feel afraid? We did those last time, so, let's see if we can remember some of them. Shaking body. can you do that with me? Shaking body. Trembling legs. Can you tremble your legs? I'm doing it but you can't see my legs. Widening eyes. Your turn. Widening eyes. Racing heart. Sweaty. You might get really sweaty when you're feeling nervous and anxious, especially your palms and your hands. You might shriek like Sophie. She went when she saw the figure. Your breathing might get faster. Your muscles might tense up if you're feeling afraid and your hair might stand on end just like the cats. So these are different ideas that you can use to show not tell that Sophie was feeling afraid and petrified in the second part of the opening. Last time we wrote about the first picture. Today we're going to write about the other two pictures. The main idea for this picture is Sophie looked out of the window. Now we want to think of ways to stretch this idea and to write several sentences to add more detail more description and make sure that our sentences are ambitious. So the first thing that we can do is think of what is happening in this part of the opening. So, in this part of the opening, we see Sophie crept towards the window. She hesitantly opened the dusty tattered curtains, she lifted the window and she curiously peered out to see what was going on during the witching hour. Now we can improve this by adding a sentence starter at the beginning or a front adverbial at the beginning to describe how she did those actions. So bravely, slowly, cautiously are all adverbs. They end in -ly and they tell us how the action happened. For example, instead of just saying, Sophie crept towards the window, we can say, cautiously, Sophie crept towards the window. That adds more detail. We can also write some sentences to show not tell how Sophie was feeling in this part of the opening. So, we could say, cautiously, Sophie crept towards the window and she got in fear. Can you now have a go at making some sentences using these notes? Practising them out loud so that it prepares you for your writing later on. Pause the video now to have a go. I cannot wait to see all of your ideas in your writing. Now let's think about the second, Let's think about the third picture. So, in this picture the main thing that happens is Sophie saw the figure. Now again, we want to stretch this idea and add more detail and description and use ambitious sentences. We can start by thinking of what happened? So, Sophie closed the curtains, then she tore the curtains open again. She spotted a colossal figure and there was raging thunder outside. So, to improve these sentences, instead of just saying Sophie closed the curtains, we can add some sentence starters or front adverbial to add more detail. So, there were some when, how and where fronted adverbials that you can use to start your sentences. For example, we can say, slowly, Sophie closed the curtains. That adds more detail and tells us how Sophie closed the curtains. We can also add some show not tell to describe how Sophie was feeling in this part of the opening. For example, we could say, slowly, Sophie closed the curtains and then maybe you could say, and her eyes widened because as she didn't fully close the curtains because she spotted something. So her eyes widened as she spotted something and then she tore the curtain back open. So slowly, Sophie closed the Curtains and her eyes widened. I would like you now to use these notes to practise saying some sentences to prepare you for your writing. Pause the video now to have a go You are so ready for your writing. And it's time. It's time for us to write the second part of the opening. So, here are the things that we need to do today to be successful. We need to use think, say, write and read for every sentence. We want to use some show not tell, to show how Sophie was feeling. We need to use some adjectives, verbs and adverbs to describe what's happened. And we want to use a range of joining words to extend our sentences. Make sure that you have your notes next to you so that you can use them to help you with your writing. My turn first. I'm going to show you the sentences that I thought of for this picture. So when Sophie looked out of the window. I'm going to start off with a sentence starter or a front adverbial bravely. I need to say what Sophie did. So bravely, what did Sophie do before she could reach the window? Maybe I could say she crept towards the window. And crept is a verb that describes really well how Sophie was moving. She was moving in a slow way towards the window because she did not want to get caught by Mrs. Clonkers again. Now, I could maybe remove my full stop and put in and coordinating conjunction to add another idea. So, what else did Sophie do before she could actually look out of the window? She had to move something out of the way. So maybe I could say, and she hesitantly opened the dusty tattered curtains. Great. So I've got a joining word already, and that is something that we need to do in our... Something that we need to do to be successful today. So, I use the adverb hesitantly to show how Sophie opened the curtains, because she was hesitant at this point in time. She wasn't sure about whether she should go ahead and look outside of the window or whether she should just go back to bed like she was told. And I added some adjectives to describe the curtains. Okay. So Sophia crept towards the window, she hesitantly opened the dusty tattered curtains, and now what did she do? I know I could say she curiously peered out of the window. So I'm using a show not tell here, I'm saying peered out to show that she was nervous, but she was also really curious to find out what was going on outside during the witching hours. Like I said, she curiously peered out of the window. Now I'm going to use another show not tell, to show that she was feeling nervous about what might pop out in front of her during the witching hour. I thought I could say she gulped in fear like that. So let me read it again. Bravely, she crept towards the window and she hesitantly opened the dusty tattered curtains. She curiously peered out of the window, she got in fear. It's now your turn to shine. Can you write two to three sentences to describe what Sophie did in this picture when Sophie looked out of the window? You can use our notes from last time and remember to use some joining words to extend your ideas. If you did the grammar lesson before, you will remember that we need a comma before buts, I said this earlier as well. And we also need a comma before or, if you use them in your writing. Pause the video now to have a go at writing your sentences. Well done for completing your first paragraph, you are working so hard. We are going to move on to our second picture, our second paragraph. So again, I'm going to go first and show you my ideas and then it will be your turn to write your very own sentences. I'm going to start off by saying, Sophie was about to close the curtains, but something happened. So, she was about to close the curtains, all good, all done back to bed, but something happened. Something negative happened. I'm going to say, but something caught her eye. And I remembered my comma before my buts. So, something caught her eyes. What did she do? Did she keep the curtains closed? No, she tore them back open. So I wrote, in an instant, she tore the curtains back open because she did it straight away in an instant. And now I'm going to think of what she saw outside. So I'm going to say in the dim eerie streets, what did she spot? She spotted a petrifying, colossal silhouette. And now I want to add some show not tell to describe how Sophie was feeling. So I'm going to say, her eyes widened and she gasped in horror. So, here are my sentences. It's now your time to shine and write your very own sentences about the final bits of the second part of the opening. So you can use your notes to help you and remember to add some joining words to extend your ideas. Pause the video now to have a go. You have worked so hard today. You didn't just write one paragraph. You wrote two paragraphs. So really, really putting in lots of effort into your writing today. Now it's time for us to read back our writing. I'm going to read back my writing to check if I have been successful. Did I do all of these things? Did I use think, say, write and read for every sentence? Did I use show not tell? Did I use adjectives, verbs and adverbs to describe what happened? And did I use a range of joining words, different joining words in my writing? I'm going to check my first paragraph with you. Bravely, she crept towards the window and she hesitantly opened the dusty tattered curtains. She curiously peered out of the window. She gulped in fear. So I used an and, that's a joining word. I used some verbs, crept, peered out. I use some adverbs, curiously. Some adjectives, dusty and tattered. And I've tried to use a few ways to show not tell how Sophie was feeling. So, I put hesitantly open to show that she was feeding nervous. She's not sure whether she should open the curtains or whether she should keep them closed. I put she gulped in fear to show that she was afraid. I said she curiously, she peered out, So she didn't fully stick her hand out. She only peered out a little bit to show... And that shows that she's feeling a little bit worried. She's not feeling confident enough and she's not feeling confident enough or safe enough to just stick her hand out just yet. I did use some show not tell. I did use some adjectives, verbs and adverbs. I did use a joining word, but in this paragraph I only used one joining word. And maybe I can think of adding another joining word there. And I used think, say, write and read every sentence. So I gave myself a tick there. Now it is your turn to read back your writing, to check it. If you haven't met everything in a success criteria, that's okay. You can always go back and improve your writing and add some things to it. Pause the video now to read through your work. I hope that you feel really proud of yourself. I hope that you felt really proud of yourself as you read back through your work and that you feel really proud of the effort that you have put into your writing today. Well done for all of your hard work. Can you now underline a sentence that you are most proud of? Pause the video now to have a go. That's the end of our lesson. Now we're going to recap all of the learning that we have done today. First, we recap compound sentences. Then we order the second part of the opening. After that we orally rehearsed our sentences. And finally, we wrote the second part of the opening. Well, we finished it off because we had started it in our previous lesson. Well done for working so hard on your writing today, you had more writing to do than last time so well done for persevering and challenging yourself with your writing today. Make sure that you read your work to someone at home so that you can show them all of your hard work. I would also love to see your work as always. If you would like to, please ask your parents or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak. I really hope that I get to see your pieces of writing and I get to read all of your amazing ideas. Well done everyone. Bye.

To write the second part of the opening (Part 2)

To write the second part of the opening (Part 2)

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UnitEnglish / The BFG - Narrative Writing

English