To write the opening of a picture book

Key Stage 2

English

The Fate of Fausto - Narrative Writing

﻿Hello everyone, it is Mrs. Hardisty here with your English lesson. We're going to do lots of writing today. So let's warm ourselves up before we do that. Can you get your hands and then squeeze them together, lifting your elbows and then squeeze really tight, for five seconds. 1 2 3 4 5 and relax. And now can you put your hands into fists. And then slowly roll them round one way, and then roll them round the other way. Well done. And then can you shake off your wrists, shake up your hands and then stretch out and close. Brilliant. Let's begin. Here is what we're going to do in today's lesson. We're going to start by thinking, about what makes a complex sentence, and then practise in writing, a couple of complex sentences. And then we're going to read and analyse, and think about the opening of Oliver Jeffers, to pay to Cal state.// And then we're going to read an example of my writing, and pick out all the things that make it successful. And then we're going to write our own opening. So for this lesson you will need some paper and a pencil. So make sure you've got those things. And then we can get cracking. Let's start with complex sentences. So let's remind ourselves that a complex sentence, has a main and a subordinate clause. If you remember a main clause makes sense, completely by itself. And a subordinate clause is like a helping clause. It doesn't make sense by itself, and can often give more information to the main clause. And when we are writing our subordinate clauses, on there always start with because when, or as in today's piece of writing. So let's look at some examples of complex sentences now, let's see if we can spot the main clause, the subordinate clause and those conjunctions. I'm going to read it out to you. The sheep agreed it belonged to Fausto, when it saw him coming. So did you spot the main clause? Which bit was the main clause? Can you read it out to me? The sheep agreed it belonged to Fausto. That makes sense completely you by itself. And then we had our subordinate clause. Which bit was the subordinate clause? Can you read it to me? When it saw him coming. So it gives us extra information. It's saying that the sheep agreed it belonged to Fausto, when it saw him coming, probably because it was already afraid of him. And what was that conjunction, that was used to start our subordinate clause? Was it because when or as? Which one was it? It was the word "when." Let's look at another example. As Fausto plucked off the flowers head, it whimpered sadly. Okay so which one was our main clause in that sentence? The bit that makes sense by itself. Can you say it to me? It whimpered sadly. That makes sense by itself. Even though it's quite sure that's still the main clause. So that means that our subordinate clause, our helping clause was what can you read it for me? As Fausto plucked off the flowers head, and it begins with the word "as." And did you spot the bit of punctuation, that comes after our subordinate clause? It was a comma wasn't it? And that's because if you start a sentence, with a subordinate clause beginning with as or when, you need to have a comma, before you then write your main clause. So as Fausto plucked off the flowers head, comma it whimpered sadly. Let's look at the third example. The tree agreed to belong to Fausto, because it was terrified. So which is our main clause? The tree agreed to belong to Fausto. That makes sense by itself. And what was our subordinate clause? Because it was terrified. So these are 3 of my examples. Now I'd like you to write 2 of your own. So I started 2 complex sentences, and I'd like you to complete them. So in a moment after I read them out to you, you're going to pause the video, and then you're going to fill in the missing words. So the first one is the sheep as Fausto spoke to it. So the sheep what did the sheep do? That's our main clause. The sheep bowed it's head nervously. The sheep shook with fright. The sheep what did it do? So that's the bit, that you need to complete with that sentence. And then for our second sentence, the tree cowered when. When what when what happened? When Fausto shouted at it, or the tree cowered when Fausto marched up to it. When did the tree cower? What was happening at the time? So can you now pause your video, and complete those two sentences. Good work. Let's see what I put. So for my first 1 I put, the sheep trembled in fear as Fausto spoke to it. Did you put something like that, or did you put something different? And then secondly the tree cowered. Cowered means you kind of bow down you're really scared. You kind of pop your head down. The tree cowered we can see that in the picture, when it saw Fausto coming. Now we're going to read the opening from the book, The Fate of Fausto. So this is written and illustrated by Oliver Jeffers, and his regular permission of Harper Collins. There was once a man who believed he owned everything, and set out to survey what was his. You are mine said Fausto to the flower. Yes said the flower I am yours. Content Fausto walked on. You are mine he said to the sheep. Yes said the sheep I suppose I am. Feeling satisfied Fausto walked on. Next Fausto came upon a tree and declared tree you are mine. To which the tree replied all right I can be yours. And the tree bowed before the man. This pleased Fausto and he walked on, happy to be owning a sheep and a flower and his tree. So how does that opening make you feel? I've got lots of different words to describe feelings. Happy normal uneasy worried stressed and then I'm happy. And I think at different points in the opening, you would probably feel different things. So at the start we meet a man, who believes he owns everything in nature. How does that make you feel? Which of these words would describe how you feel, when you first meet Fausto? I think you'd probably just feel pretty normal. You don't know what he's like at this stage. He first demands that the flower is his. So now we know a little bit more about him as a reader. We might not feel quite the same. Do we still feel normal or do we feel something else? I think I would feel a little bit uneasy, because I don't know why he's demanding, that the flower is his and I don't think it's very nice. Then next he takes a sheep for himself. What word would describe how you feel now? I felt a bit worried. Is he ever going to stop? Is he going to demand more and more? How are they all going to feel about that? And then he makes a tree bow to him. Well I don't know about you, but I feel really stressed now. What's he going to do next? Is everything going to end up belonging to Fausto? So we would like our reader to feel like this, by the end of our writing today. We want them to start feeling pretty normal. Oh what a lovely start to our story. And then start to get more and more worried and concerned, as Fausto does more and more things, that might make us unhappy. This is what we want our readers to feel, by the end of our piece of writing today. So let's read an example of my piece of writing. It's really helpful when we're doing our writing, to use success criteria. They're like a bit of a checklist, for making sure that we've included, everything that we need to in our writing. So here is our success criteria for our opening today. Number 1 I have described the setting. So where it's happening. Number 2 I have used precise verbs, doing words and adverbs, so that my reader can really imagine what's going on. Number 3 I have described Fausto. He's our main character isn't he? So we need to think about some of those words, that we've looked at in previous lessons, and use them in our writing today. And then number 4 I have written a complex. So we've practised that one already today haven't we? And compound sentence. Remember compound sentence is 2 main clauses, joined together normally in our writing with the word and, or the word but. So I'm going to read out the writing that I've done, and as I do so, perhaps you can spot some of these success criteria. So have I described the setting? And do I use some really interesting, precise verbs and adverbs? So as I'm reading see if you can spot some of these things. In a beautiful corner of the earth, a selfish man stepped into a field. He decided that he owned the pink delicate flower, in front of him and he ordered it to be his. As he plucked off the flowers head greedily, it let out a quiet whimper. Then the irate character, thought he should own the next sheep, and tree he saw because he was more important than them. This man's name was Fausto. Did you spot some of our success criteria? Let's see if we can pick some of them out together. So the first one was to describe the setting, and I do that in the very first sentence. So I with in a beautiful corner of the earth. We don't know exactly where the story is set, but we know that it's really beautiful. So that's how I've started mine. And I've also added in the word field. Because we know that the flower and the sheep, and the tree all are in a field. So now my reader knows exactly where the story is happening. And what about my precise verbs and adverbs? So I've got the verbs ordered rather than said or told, and then plucked plucked means to pick something, but pick it quite hard plucked. So he plucked off the flowers head. And then how did he do it what was the adverb? Can you shout it to me? Greedily? So he plucked off the flowers head greedily. Great I've got success criteria number 2. Now have I described Fausto accurately? Well I've tried to use, some of those words that we looked at in an early lesson. So I've got the word selfish, and then I've also got the word did you spot it? Irate. And can you remember what irate meant? Irate means angry. And then right at the end of my writing I explain his name. So before that point we don't know who he is. And then right at the end we've got the sentence. This man's name was Fausto. And then my last success criteria, was using a compound and a complex sentence. So my first ah. So then my last success criteria was using a compound, and a complex sentence. So I've got a compound sentence here. He decided that he owned the pink delicate flower, in front of him and he ordered it to be his. That's my compound sentence joined with the word and. Did you spot the complex sentence, starting with the when or an as? Here it is. As he plucked off the flowers head greedily, comma cause it's a subordinate clause starting a sentence. It let out a quiet whimper. Can you do a whimper for me now? A whimper is a little bit like a whisper. It's when you're really sad, because its head has just been plucked off. So let's look at my piece of writing, and now we're going to write ours together. We're going to begin with our settings. So where is it happening? It's not happening in a town or a city. It's happening in the countryside. So I could start with deep in the countryside, or in a spot in the countryside. Or how about in a quiet spot in the countryside? In a quiet spot in the countryside. Do you know what punctuation I need after that? I need a comma. In a quiet spot in the countryside, a man stood and thought to himself. A what kind of man? An impatient man a difficult man a strange man. Let's do strange. A strange man stood and thought to himself. Now what was he thinking? He believed that he was more important than everything. He believed that everything belonged to him. Super we're going to do that. So I'm going to start with a capital letter. He believed that everything belonged to him. Okay I'm going to read through what I've done so far. In a quiet spot in the countryside, a strange man stood and thought to himself. He believed that everything belonged to him. So now I want to talk about the flower. So the man ordered a flower to be his. Can I describe the man? The selfish man. The selfish man. How did he order? Rudely ordered. What kind of flower? A small. And what colour was it? A small pink flower to be his. I'm going to read that through. The selfish man rudely ordered, a small pink flower to be his. Lovely. Now I could try and do my complex sentence, starting with the word as. So as the flower agreed, as the flower agreed. What did he do to the flower? He he picked it didn't he? He quickly hit oh excuse me. He quickly picked what did he pick? Picks off the flowers. Could we have a word to describe its head? How about ah tiny or delicate delicate head. Okay let me read through that complex sentence, to make sure I've got my comma in the right place. As the flower agreed comma, he quickly picked off the flowers delicate head. Okay let's start with a time conjunction now, like then on next how about next? Next and then after time conjunction, I need a comma next. What did he see then? He saw a sheep and he also saw a tree. Rather than saw he's walking isn't he? So could I have he walked past or even he just, he passed. He passed a sheep and what and a tree. And then I could turn this into a compound sentence can I? So I could use the word and. And then what did he do as he passed them? And he told them that they were his too. And he could I use a better word than told? He demanded he declared oh like that one. And he declared that they too were his. Going to read through that sentence. Next he passed a sheep and a tree, and he declared that they too were his. Super I haven't actually said his name yet have I? So I can do that now. This man's name was Fausto and because it's a proper noun, I start his name with a capital letter. Let's read through now. In a quiet spot in the countryside, a strange man stood and thought to himself. He believed that everything belonged to him. The selfish man, rudely ordered a small pink flower to be his. As the flower agreed, he quickly picked off the flower's delicate head. Next he passed a sheep and a tree, and he declared that they too were his. This man's name was Fausto. So it's your turn now to write your own opening, in your book. You've got your success criteria here. I have described the setting. I have used precise verbs and adverbs. I have described Fausto, and I have written a complex and compound sentence. So can you now pause the video and write your opening? Fantastic writing. Let's just check through our writing now, and make sure that we've got all of our success criteria. So get your finger ready, and just look through how do you describe the setting? Is it there? Have you used precise verbs and adverbs? Can you point to a verb that you've used, that's really precise? Can you add in an adverb anywhere if you haven't got one? Have you described Fausto? So again point to a word that describes the impatient, difficult selfish strange. And if you haven't add them in now. And then lastly, have you written a complex and compound sentence? Can you find a compound sentence using the word and? Have you got a complex sentence, with a subordinate clause beginning with when, or as can you point to it? And if you haven't got one of those things, pause now see if you can write in one of those sentences. So let's recap what we've done today. We looked at complex sentences, with these main clauses and then subordinate clauses, read and analyse the opening of The Fate of Fausto. And then we read an example of my writing, and then we've written our own. You've done really well today. What a brilliant start to your own writing about Fausto. I'm really looking forward to seeing all the brilliant work, that you're going to do. I'll see you soon. Bye bye.

To write the opening of a picture book

To write the opening of a picture book

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UnitEnglish / The Fate of Fausto - Narrative Writing

English