To write the ending

Key Stage 2

English

The Jabberwocky - Narrative writing

﻿Hi, everyone. It's me, Ms. Webster, with you for our last writing lesson of the "Jabberwocky" unit and I'm really excited because you get to show off all your skills and all your vocabulary to write the ending of the story. So I hope you're feeling confident and comfortable and I hope you're feeling ready to write. In this lesson you'll need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or something else to write with, and you will need your plan that we did in our last lesson. So if you haven't got everything you need, pause the video, go and collect it and I'll see you when you're ready. We'll start with our writing warm up, we'll get ready to write, we'll write each section of the ending in parts, and then we will read back our paragraph. Let's see what our writing warm up is. So, I've got some sentences that have been broken down into the speech sentence, the speech parts, the noun and verb, and then the rest of the sentence. And the table looks like this. So you've got three sentences, but they've all been jumbled up. So the bits in pink are the speech parts. Speech sentences. "Are you hurt?" "I did it!" "Come here, my brave son," Then you've got to choose what noun and verb go with it. And then you've got to choose what the rest of the sentence could say. So have a really good look at the table. Which bit goes with which bit, do you think? So I'd like you to pause the video now, write your three full sentences, and I will see you when you've done that. Let's check, what did you think the first one was? Tell me. Okay, let's see. "Are you hurt?" his father asked with a panicked look on his face. So he's asking a question and he's feeling really worried about his son. The next one was this one. "I did it!" his son exclaimed as he beamed proudly. Can you beam proudly at me? Well done. And then what did you get for the last one? Tell me the full sentence. It says this, doesn't it? "Come here, my brave son," the old man murmured as he held his arms out wide. Well done for the writing warm up. Did a great job. So, we have planned and written the opening, we've planned and written the build up, we've planned and written the climax and today we are writing the ending of our story. Let's think about the order of the main parts. So the first thing that happens is that the old man asked his son if his quest had been successful. Look at your plan. What's the second thing that happened? Look at your plan carefully. Yeah, it's the father and son hugged tightly. And then finally, his father exclaimed that it was the most wonderful day ever! Now let's think about the writing skills we will use. What writing skills are you going to show off? Think about vocabulary. Think about punctuation. Let's have a look at this table of skills to be successful. We're definitely going to Think, Say, Write, Read every sentence as we do in every lesson. We're going to choose precise descriptive language. Precise verbs and adverbs and because we've got quite a lot of speech in this part of our story, in the ending, we're going to make sure we use accurate punctuation. Whether that's speech first or speech second. And we definitely need to have our plan right next to us, don't we? So we will write the ending in parts. I will do a little bit of writing and then it will be your turn. So the first bit is where the old man asked about his quest. Look at your plan really carefully now. Look at my plan on the screen as well if you'd like to and remind yourselves of the really great vocabulary that you've got there. Okay, so it's my turn to do my sentences for this part and all you need to do is watch and listen really carefully. I'm going to start my sentence with saying, "When the young man arrived home..." So something like, "A little while later he arrived home." How can I refer to him? "The triumphant young man arrived home," and what did he see? Let's just check what his father looked like. "And was greeted by his father's pale, panic-stricken face." "A little while later," comma after my time conjunction, "the triumphant young man arrived home and was greeted by his father's," apostrophe S because the face belongs to the father, apostrophe for possession, "pale," comma, "panic-stricken face." I thought of my sentence, I said it out loud, then I wrote it and now I need to read it back. "A little while later, the triumphant young man arrived home and was greeted by his father's pale, panic-stricken face." The next thing I want to write is the speech, what his father said. So, if I'm using speech I need a new line. I'm going to just look at my plan and think about what I've got on there. "Did you do the deed?" "Did you slay him?" I think I'm going to use, "Did you do the deed?" So my inverted commas, capital letter, "Did you do the deed?" Now, it's a question so I need a question mark, closing inverted commas, he asked worriedly. "Did you do the deed?" he asked worriedly. And then my final part of the sentence is what his son did next, what his response was. And I can see some great words on my plan. "Proudly presented." "His son proudly presented the Jabberwock's head." Maybe I'll refer to the Jabberwock in a different way, actually. "His son proudly presented the savage beast's head, which he had carried all the way home." "His son proudly presented the savage beast's head," remembering my apostrophe for possession, and I'm going to have a relative clause, "which he had carried all the way home." "His son proudly presented the savage beast's head, which he has... Which he had carried all the way home." I'm glad I read that back so that I could just check for that spelling mistake. So, I've written my sentences for this part of the ending and in a second it will be your turn. There are the skills to be successful as a reminder. You've got your plan in front of you. So take a few minutes or however long you need and I will see you when you've written those sentences. Pause the video now. Well done, so the next bit, have a look at your plan, have a look at the words you've planned. What speech is there? How have you described the boy? How have you described what his reaction was? Okay, so I'm going to do some writing for you now. All you need to do is listen really carefully. So, now this is the second bit of our ending and I'm going to use some speech in this sentence but I'm going to use it second. So, I need to start off my sentence with how he's feeling, a precise adjective. I think he felt relieved, I think his father felt relieved. Relieved, his father said, "Come here" Let me just choose one of the ways he referred to his son, "Valiant hero." So, "Relieved," comma after my adjective, "his father said..." Now, if I'm punctuating speech second I need a comma then my opening inverted commas. My capital letter, "Come here my valiant hero!" He's kind of saying that in a really exited way so I'm going to use an exclamation mark there. I'm going to read my sentence back. Relieved, his father said, "Come here my valiant hero!" Now, my next sentence is going to be about what they did next. I'm really wanting to use that word "flung." Flung his arms in the air. As he flung his arms in the air, his son placed the beast's decapitated head on the ground. What did they do? They embraced tightly. "As he flung his arms in the air," comma after my subordinate clause, "his son placed the beast's head," decapitated head, "decapitated head on the ground," because remember he was still carrying it, "and they embraced tightly." I think I'm going to use the word "pair". "And the pair embraced tightly." I'm going to read back my sentence. "As he flung his arms in the air, his son placed the beast's decapitated head on the ground and the pair embraced tightly." In a moment it'll be your turn to write your sentences for this bit. Well done for following along. So, it's your turn to write your sentences for this bit. There are the skills to be successful as a reminder. Make sure you've still got your plan there. Good luck, enjoy, and I will see you when you've written those sentences. Pause the video. Our final part of our ending is when his father exclaimed what a wonderful day it was. So, again, look at your plan. This is row three, the third section in your plan. Think about what speech you've got there. Think about what his father was doing. Think about some show-not-tell for his son. So, again, it's my turn to do my writing. So you need to watch and listen really carefully. So this is the final bit of our ending. I'm going to start off with some speech. I'm going to start off by telling the reader what his father said. I'm going to look straight at my plan and I'm going to use that speech sentence. "This is a joyous occasion!" proclaimed the old man. Maybe I'll put a little bit more detail in that sentence to show what he did. As he laughed heartily. "This is a joyous occasion," occasion, just check my plan for that spelling, "proclaimed the old man as he laughed," check that spelling in my plan, "laughed heartily." "This is a joyous occasion!" proclaimed the old man as he laughed heartily. Good example of a precise verb and adverb there. And then his son's reaction, what did he do next? "A warm feeling spread throughout his body," I like that. I like, "He sighed in contentment." "He sighed in contentment." Which means that's showing how satisfied he was and how happy he was with himself. And then my final sentence is just going to be really about what it means for them. So the Jabberwock's dead so they don't have to live in fear of him now. So, at last they were free from living in the fear of the Jabberwock. "At last," comma after my time conjunction, "they were free from living in fear of the Jabberwock." "At last, they were free from living in fear of the Jabberwock." And that's my final part of the ending and it will be your turn in a minute. Okay, are you feeling ready to write the last bit of your ending? There are the skills to be successful. Make sure you Think, Say, Write, Read every sentence. Make sure you're choosing great vocabulary, and you can just get that straight from your plan, can't you? And make sure that you're punctuating your speech accurately. So, you need to pause the video, write your sentences and I'll see you when you've done that. Our last bit of this lesson is a focus on reading back our writing. I would like to share my writing with you. So you can just follow along on the screen. A little while later, the triumphant young man arrived home and was greeted by his father's pale, panic-stricken face. "Did you do the deed?" he asked worriedly. His son proudly presented the savage beast's head, which he had carried all the way home. Relieved, his father said, "Come here my valiant hero!" As he flung his arms in the air, his son placed the beast's decapitated head on the ground and the pair embraced tightly. "This is a joyous occasion!" proclaimed the old man as he laughed heartily. His son sighed in contentment. At last, they were free from living in fear of the Jabberwocky. So I know I read all my sentences back when I was doing my writing but it's really important that I read my whole paragraph back. It's your turn to read your paragraph back, and as your doing that think about what it's like to be the reader. How do you feel as the reader? Is there a vivid picture in your mind of what's happening? Can you almost see the father and his son having this conversation? And can you hear what they're saying? And how do you feel as the writer reading back your own work? Do you feel really, really proud? And think about what could happen next. Now, we know this is the end of the story but if you were to write the next part of the story or if your were to make up another ending or something what might happen? I'd like you to pause the video and read your whole paragraph back. Pause the video now. Wow, what brilliant work today. Did a great job on the writing warm up then you got ready to write and then you wrote each section in parts and we finished writing the whole story of the "Jabberwocky" which is absolutely amazing. And then you also read your paragraph back to yourselves. It would be really great, if you'd like to, to ask your parent or carer to share your writing on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook or Twitter by tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak. And that means I would get to read your writing and that would be really, really wonderful. So, I hope you have a really, really lovely rest of your day. Fantastic work, well done.

To write the ending

To write the ending

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UnitEnglish / The Jabberwocky - Narrative writing

English