To write the ending

Key Stage 2

English

The Robin - Narrative Writing

﻿Hi everyone. Welcome to our final lesson in the robin's journey unit. So I'm kind of feeling really excited because we get to write the ending of the story, but also a little bit sad that this unit is over. But I know that we're going to have a great lesson. I know you're going to work really hard. Let's get ready to write. In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or something else to write with, and you will need your plan for the ending that we did in the last lesson. So if you haven't got everything you need, pause the video, go and collect it, and I'll see you when you're ready. We'll do our writing warmup. We will then get ready to write. Then we'll write each part in short sections, and then we'll finish by reading our paragraphs aloud. So let's see what's our writing warmup is. You've got to rewrite the sentence with the comma in the correct place. Okay. Have a look at these sentences, follow along whilst I read them. At last the storm subsided comma and the morning sun rose. Which is a sentence all about the storm. Kind of getting, it all getting calm and the storm disappears and it becomes morning and it's nice and calm. But the comma is in the wrong place. Listen to number two. As comma he flew off into the crisp air he spread his wings as wide as he could. Crisp air means cold air. I can see a comma there and it's in the wrong place. Where should it be? Number three. He soon comma saw the reassuring familiar sight of home. Again, there's a comma there where it shouldn't be. So, can you pause the video and write the full sentence with the comma in the correct place? As you're doing that, think about what that purpose of the comma is for. Why do I need to put a comma there? Pause the video and play it when you've done that. Let's check. So the first one. The comma was before the and. Do we need a comma before an and? Hmm, I don't think we do but we do need a comma there. Can you see where the comma is on the screen? Point to it. And did you get that in your sentence? Ah, okay, well done. So at last is an example of a time conjunction and we know that we need commas after time conjunctions. Let's see where we put the comma for number two. So it was after as. Hmm, tell me the word that you think the comma should be after. One, two, three. Well done. It's after the word air. As he flew off into the crisp air, he spread his wings as wide as he could. Got a good picture in my mind about the robin at that point. So why is the comma there? What is that bit that I've underlined? Oh, it's the subordinate clause. So I need my comma after my subordinate clause. Ready for number three? He soon comma saw the reassuring familiar sight of home. Reassuring is a word that means when you see something, it kind of gives you comfort, it makes you feel safe and comfortable. And familiar is a word that means you recognise something, it's familiar to you, you've seen it lots and lots of times before. So that comma was after soon, but it shouldn't be there, should it? Tell me the word it should be after. Let's see. Reassuring comma familiar. So why is that comma there? Oh, it's because there are two adjectives, reassuring and familiar. Good job in our writing warmup. Let's prepare to write. But let's remind ourselves of what happens in the story. The robin sets off on his journey all the way up in Scandinavia. He met that hawk, didn't he, and he narrowly escaped being caught by the hawk's talons. And the climax, remember? He flew over a stormy sea and he was really badly hurt, but luckily the fisherman was there to make him better. And at the end he returns home and he is reunited with his friend. We've planned and written the opening, we've planned and written the build up, we've planned and written the climax, we've planned the ending. So today we are writing the ending. We're going to watch the clip again. Think about what the key moments are. Think about the words that you will use when we write about them. And you can add any new ideas or vocabulary to your plan as we're watching. Are you ready to watch? Yeah, me too. Let's go. You've got your plan right in front of you. You should be able to do this really easily. What's the first thing that we're writing about? Tell me. Yes, the fisherman released the robin into the morning sky. The second thing that happened was that he finally reached land. He flew over the countryside. And the last thing was that he found his garden and he flew into it and was reunited with his friend. Let's think about the writing skills that we'll use today. Hmm. Have some thinking time. What skills do you want to show off in your writing? Here are my ideas. We definitely need to do this as we do in every writing lesson. Think, say, write, read every sentence, choosing really precise adjectives, precise verbs and adverbs. And as a special target, we're going to use commas accurately in our writing today. You must make sure you have your plan right next to you. In fact, can you look at the first row of your plan? which is the bit where the fisherman released the robin into the cold crisp but calm morning sky. It was the day after the storm and the robin was finally strong enough and well enough to be released and to fly home. So look at your great words on your plan. Familiarise yourself with all your ideas and vocabulary that you did in our planning lesson. Okay. So, I'm going to write a few sentences now, so you need to watch and listen and follow along, and then it will be your turn. I'm going to start our ending paragraph with a bit of a description about what the time of day was and what the day looked like. I can see words in my plan like sunrise and dawn, the sun peeped through the clouds. So this is the next day when the storm has passed. And so it's quite a calm day in contrast to the storming night beforehand. So I think I'll use an as complex sentence, so that two things can happen in this sentence. As the sun started to peep through the clouds, what did the fisherman do? He knew it was time, he knew it was time to let the robin go. As the sun started to peep through the clouds, and that gives my reader quite a nice image of the sun trying its hardest to appear, the fisherman, fisherman knew it was time. So I've thought my sentence, I've said it, I've written it, now I need to read it back. As the sun started to peep through the clouds comma, the fisherman knew it was time. So what did he do? Let's check my plan. He released into the air. He released the little creature into the crisp but still air. He released the little creature, so in other words the robin, into the crisp, which, as we know, is another word for cool. So the air is still quite cold, but it is still and calm compared to what it was like in the storm. He released the little creature into the crisp but still air. Now I need to talk about what the robin did. Well, he spread his wings and he glided off, didn't he? Just like that magnificent eagle. So maybe I start my sentence with, with his energy restored, the robin spread his wings and glided into the morning sky, like a magnificent eagle. With his energy restored, the robin spread his wings and glided into the morning sky like a magnificent, magnificent eagle. Just have to check my plan for that spelling. Reading it back. With his energy restored, the robin spread his wings and glided into the morning sky like a magnificent eagle. And then the final sentence, I think, should just be something like what he knew. Well, he knew that there was not far to go. There was not long left. So a short sentence. I think, it should say, he knew there was not far to go now. He knew there was not far to go now. He could almost sense being close to home. So I think I've used precise adjectives, for example, this crisp but still air. So I've described the air in a precise way. Verbs, I have verbs, for example, the sun started to peep through the clouds, the robin spread his wings and glided. So really precise verb choice there. And I've used my commas accurately as well. Put a comma after my subordinate clause, I've got a comma after an adverbial, with his energy restored. So in a moment, it will be your turn to write your first few sentences for this paragraph. Here is the reminder of our skills to be successful. You saw me do all of those things a moment ago and I know you're going to do a great job of doing them in your own sentences now. So pause the video, take a few minutes or however long you need, write your sentences and I'll see you when you're ready. The next part of our ending is where he flew over the countryside. So again, take a few moments now, have a really close look at your plan. I'm looking at the words on the screen. I'm wondering what words I'm going to use in my sentences. I can see some great descriptive vocabulary. I can see some excellently chosen verbs and adverbs for what he did. So again, follow along really carefully as I write my sentences. So he's getting really close now, isn't he? Really close to home? I think I'll start off with a short sentence and I'm actually just going to take that straight from my plan. He soon reached land. He soon reached land. Thank goodness for that. So it really tells him that he must be close to home. So what did he do? Let's check my vocabulary for the robin. Peered, stared, surveyed. So from high above, he surveyed the patchwork of snow-covered fields below. Why did he do that? Oh, because he was searching for his home. So from high above comma, because it's a prepositional phrase to start my sentence, he surveyed, which means looked really closely and intently, the patchwork of snow-covered fields below, searching for his home. Read that back. From higher above, he surveyed the patchwork of snow-covered fields below, searching for his home. And he sensed something, didn't he? He sensed he was close. Actually, I'm just going to look at those two ideas in that last box and use those in a sentence together. He sensed he was close and flapped his wings even harder. He sensed he was close and flapped his wings even harder. Just changed that word from my plan to harder, not faster. He sensed he was close and flapped his wings even harder. Okay, I think I've done a good job of think, say, write, read, and I've chosen my adjectives, verbs and adverbs precisely. And I've got a couple of commas in here. One is for a prepositional phrase, and one, which is the one between below and searching is to separate a main clause from a subordinate clause. Okay. It will be your turn in a minute to write your sentences for the second part of the ending. Okay. Here is our reminder for our skills to be successful. I'm sure you're doing a great job with all of those so far. So pause the video, take a few minutes or however long you need and then play the video when you've written your sentences for part two. Okay. We're on our final bit of our ending, which is actually the final bit of the whole story. So again, look at your plan for part three. What words are you definitely going to use, I wonder. Hmm, what words am I going to definitely use? So I'd like you to watch and listen carefully and then it will be your turn. So we're at the final bit of the ending. And I think we just need to start this section by telling our reader that he'd seen his home. There it was! And I think I'm going to start with that sentence. There it was! Exclamation mark. Now I need to tell my reader what he did. I've got some great vocabulary in my plan. Descended swiftly, swooped down gracefully. In fact, I think I'm going to start with that adverb. Gracefully, he swooped down into the familiar garden as relief surged through his body. Gracefully comma, because it's an adverbial starter, he swooped down into the familiar, which means he recognised it because it was his home or his garden, as relief surged through his body. That means he felt so relieved that he could feel that relief moving in his body. So I'm going to read back my sentence. Gracefully, he swooped down into the familiar garden as relief surged through his body. Now I need to talk about what he did when he saw his mate. His eyes lit up, his beady eyes lit up at the sight of his mate. And what had she been doing? Who had been waiting for his return. His beady, beady eyes lit up at the sight of his mate, which means his partner, who had been waiting for his return. Remembering my comma, because I've got my relative clause there. His beady eyes lit up at the sight of his mate comma, who had been waiting for his return. So the next thing I want to say is what she did. I've got loads of great ideas on my plan, and I know you have as well. Happily hopped, offered him a crumb, tweeted joyfully. So I think I'm going to put all of those ideas in one sentence. She tweeted joyfully before hopping towards him and sharing her crumbs with him. She tweeted joyfully before hopping towards him and sharing her crumbs with him. She was so happy to see him, wasn't she? She greeted joyfully before hopping towards him and sharing her crumbs with her. And I think one more to show, not tell for what he did. He sighed in contentment. He sighed in contentment. Which means he felt really happy and glad that he was home. He was content. Just read that sentence back. He sighed in contentment. And then I think the last sentence should just be another really short sentence that just says something like home at last. I think that's quite a powerful way to end our whole ending. In fact, our whole story. I'm going to read all of my sentences back actually. There it was! Gracefully, he swooped down into the familiar garden as relief surged through his body. His beady eyes lit up at the sight of his mate, who had been waiting for his return. She tweeted joyfully before hopping towards him and sharing her crumbs with her. Should be with him. Good job I'm reading my writing back. He sighed in contentment. Home at last! So I've thought, said, written, and read each sentence, chosen precise adjectives, like familiar garden, beady eyes, chosen precise verbs and adverbs, for example gracefully swooped, tweeted joyfully. And I've used commas in the correct places. For example, after my adverbial starter, gracefully, and before my relative clause, who had been waiting for his return. Okay. So it's going to be your turn in a minute to write your final sentences of the ending. Here are the skills to be successful. Are you doing a good job of thinking, saying, writing, reading every sentence? I bet you are. And I bet you're choosing really precise adjectives, verbs and adverbs, and I'm sure you're doing a really good job with your commas as well. So it's your turn to write the very last bit of our story. Pause the video, take as long as you need and then play the video when you've done that. So the final part of our lesson is a focus on reading back our writing. All you need to do is just follow along whilst I'm reading. As the sun started to peep through the clouds, the fisherman knew it was time. He released the little creature into the crisp but still air. With his energy restored, the robin spread his wings and glided into the morning sky like a magnificent eagle. He knew there was not far to go now. He soon reached land. From high above, he surveyed the patchwork of snow-covered fields below, searching for home. He sensed he was close and flapped his wings even harder. There it was! Gracefully, he swooped down into the familiar garden as relief surged through his body. His beady eyes lit up at the sight of his mate, who had been waiting for his return. She tweeted joyfully before hopping towards him and sharing her crumbs with him. He sighed in contentment. Home at last! Your turn to read your paragraph back. As you're doing that, think about these questions. Can you get a sense of what it's like to be the reader? Is there a really vivid, which means clear, picture in your mind of what's happening? How do you feel when you read your writing back? And imagine you have to write the robin's next adventure. What would happen? Pause the video now, read your whole paragraph back and I'll see you when you've done that. Oh my goodness, we did brilliant work today! Did a great job in our writing warmup. Then you got ready to write. Then you wrote each part of the ending and sections, which means that you finished the whole story, and then you read your writing back. It would be absolutely amazing if you could ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter by tagging @OakNational and hashtag LearnwithOak, and then lots and lots of people, including me, would get to see your fabulous writing. So I hope you have a really, really lovely rest of your day. Bye!

To write the ending

To write the ending

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UnitEnglish / The Robin - Narrative Writing

English