To write the build-up

Key Stage 2

English

The Jabberwocky - Narrative writing

﻿Hi everyone, it's me Ms Webster with different next Jabberwocky lesson. And I'm really excited about this one because we get to write the next bit of our story. We get to write the build up. So, I hope that you're feeling confident and I hope you're sitting somewhere comfortably and I hope you're feeling ready to write. In this lesson, you will need an exercise book, or some paper, a pencil or a pen, you'll need your brain, of course, but you will definitely also need your plan that we did in our last lesson. So, if you haven't got everything you need, pause the video, go and collect it and I'll see you when you're ready. We'll start with our writing warm up. Then we will prepare to write and then we'll write each section in parts, and then we'll read back a paragraph. So, let's look at our writing warm up. Okay, I've got three adjectives there. Let's say them together. Exhausted, confident, worried, show me an an exhausted face Show me a confident face, show me a worried face. Okay, you've got to think about which adjectives can start these sentences. So, I'll read them aloud and as I'm doing that, think about which adjective could start each sentence. He set off on his quest. A quest is another way of saying journey or adventure or mission where you have to go and achieve something. And in this case, his mission is to go and find and kill the Jabberwocky Number two, he wasn't sure if he'd ever find the elusive beast, elusive is something that's really difficult to find. No matter how hard you search, you just can't seem to find it. And then the last one, he rested for awhile against a tree. Pause the video now and write down each full sentence with the correct adjective to start it. Pause the video now. Should we check? So, the first one he sets off on his quest, confident he sets off on his quest feeling really confident about his journey and his mission. Number two, what did you think tell me, yeah, I thought that's worried. Worried, he wasn't sure if he'd ever find the elusive beast. So, the last one must be exhausted, show me the exhausted face again. Just so so tired that he had to stop and rest for a while against a tree exhausted, comma he rested for a while against a tree. Fab job, well done. So, we're writing the build up of the poem as a story. You've already done some fantastic planning. Now, the build up remember is where he is off to find the Jabberwocky and your planning was amazing. So, you need to make sure you have that with you now. Let's get ready to write. So, the order of the build up, look at your plan. What are we writing about first? What's the first thing we're writing about? Check your plan. Okay, so it's the young man holding onto his trusty sword, clutching his trusty sword, so that he's ready to fight. He's searching it for a very long time. And then finally he had to stop and rest while he wondered what to do next. So, what writing skills should we use today? Think about the writing skills we used when we were writing up opening. I wonder if any of those are going to be the same. So, we definitely need to think, say, write, read every sentence. And I know you did a really good job of that when we were writing our opening. Again, we need to choose the most precise, descriptive language. So, thinking about our nouns and adjectives really carefully, we're choosing the most precise verbs and adverbs to show what our characters are doing and how they did it. And for this lesson, we're going to think about different ways of starting sentences, just like we did in our writing warm up. And the most important thing to remember, is that we have our plan right next to us. So, I'm going to share a little bit of writing with you, and you will then have the opportunity to write in each part. So, check your plan, have a moment to have a look at that first row. Think about all the great vocabulary that you planned for it. Here's my plan, and I definitely will use some of these words in my writing. Have a moment to look at your plan, have a moment to look at mine. Okay, so it's a little bit different from last time, because I'm going to show you an example that I will have already written, rather than writing it whilst you're watching. So, I'm going to read these sentences aloud to you as you follow along on the screen and listen really carefully. Bravely, comma the young man clutched his trusty sword, which was his only weapon against the deadly Jabberwocky. As his heart thumped rapidly inside his chest comma, he continued on his perilous quest. So, I'm going to show you the success criteria there our skills to be successful. Can you see all those words in pink? I've chosen those as precise, descriptive language. I've chosen trusty sword. What else did I choose to use? Yeah, deadly Jabberwocky. And then the final thing I chose was perilous quest. Now we had that word quest in our writing warm up, meaning a journey where you have a mission, something to achieve that word perilous is not in my plan, but I added it in afterwards, perilous, what do you think it means? Do you think it means safe or do you think it means dangerous? One, two, three dangerous. So, perilous is a synonym for dangerous. Okay, look at number three, choose the most precise verbs and adverbs. Can you have a look at what precise verbs and adverbs I've chosen? Can you point to one on the screen? Point to another one, point to another one. Let's check, okay. So, I use the word clutched. Can you pretend that your sword is in your hand and can you clutch onto it? Are you holding it tightly or not very tightly? Very tightened that you're ready to use it. I've also chosen thumped rapidly. Can you imagine your heart is thumping rapidly and show me? well done, and then continued as another precise verb. Can you look at the different ways I've started sentences, point to one, point to another one. Let's check. Oh, so I started this sentence, the first sentence with an adverb bravely, he clutched onto his trusty sword. And then I chose to use an as clause in my second sentence as his heart thumped rapidly inside his chest. So, I started with as his. I definitely did think, say, write, read every sentence when I was writing it. And I know that when you come to write in a moment, you will definitely do that as well. So, it is your turn to write the first parts of the build up, there are skills to be successful. So, you can keep those on the screen and you should have your plan next to you, so that you can that for all your amazing ideas. I would like you to pause the video now and write your sentences for the first parts of the build up. Pause the video now. Let's have a look at our plan for the second part of the build up. So, this is where he's searching for a long time. I can see some time conjunctions there, for several hours for what seemed like an eternity. He searched, scoured, hunted. Let's look at what I've written and you can follow along as I'm reading it. For what seemed like an eternity comma, he scoured the dense forest comma, but the vicious beast was nowhere to be seen. However, comma his eyes stayed alert and he confidently brandished his sword comma, ready for action. Can you say any words that I've got in my writing that I've also got on my plan? I can see a lot. I can see that time conjunction for what seemed like an eternity. I can see that verb scoured, which means searched everywhere really thoroughly. So, let's think about what precise, descriptive language I've chosen. I chose to describe the forest as dense. How did I describe the beast? Point to it. Tell me, vicious, well done. How did I describe his eyes? Alert, really good job. That means they were really ready to look really looking carefully at any sign of the beast. What about the precise verbs and adverbs I chose? Points to one, point to another one. Should we check? Scoured. Just remind me what that means again, it's another way of saying searched. And then this adverb and verb confidently brandished brandished means held up, ready to use. He held up his sword ready to use at any sign of the Jabberwocky. What ways have I started sentences? Have I got a time conjunction? Yep, point to it, but what seemed like an eternity. Yes, good job. And then I've also started my second sentence with the word, however. So, I've used different ways of starting my sentences. Okay, it's your turn to write. There's the reminder of our skills to be successful. So, I would like you to pause the video and write your second part of this paragraph. Pause the video now. Let's have a look at the last part of our plan, which is where he had to stop and rest for a little bit, just whilst he thoughts about what he should do. So, look at your plan, think about where he was? Think about what he did? How did he feel? I know you've got some amazing vocabulary on your plan that you will be able to use in your writing. So, here's my example, listen carefully as I read it aloud. Eventually, he needed to rest beneath an immense comma, magical tree comma, he stopped to plan his next move. Exhausted comma, the weary adventurer had almost given up hope, but he could sense the elusive creature was near. What descriptive language have I used? Hmm, what description have I used? Can you point to an example? Here we've got the immense, magical tree. How have I referred to him in this part? The weary adventurer. Weary is another way of saying really tired, almost too tired to carry on. And remember, he's been searching how long for it. Let's think about what we wrote in our last bit, for what seems like an eternity. That's a really really really long time. So, he's so tired that he almost can't carry on. And it says he almost had given up hope. How have I described or referred to the Jabberwocky? I've said he's an elusive creature. Remember, elusive means something or someone that's very very difficult to find, no matter how hard you're looking for them. How have I used precise verbs and adverbs? Can you point to one, he stopped to plan, he had almost given up hope, but he could sense. That means he could kind of feel that the Jabberwocky was close to him was nearby. And then what ways have I started sentences? Point to an example, point to another one and point to one more. So, I've got eventually, which is a time conjunction, I've got beneath, which is a preposition. And I've got exhausted, which is an, tell me? Adjective. So, I've got a few different ways to start my sentences. It's your turn to write this bits of the build up, there with the skills to be successful, have your plan right next to you. And you can see me when you have finished the sentences. Pause the video now. Wow, well done. You've written another paragraph of this poem as a story, you should hopefully be feeling really really proud of yourself now. So, I'm going to read my writing back to you and you can just listen and follow along. Bravely, comma the young man clutched his trusty sword comma, which was his only weapon against the deadly Jabberwocky. As his heart thumped rapidly inside his chest, he continued on his perilous quest. For what seemed like an eternity, he scoured the dense forest, but the vicious beast was nowhere to be seen. However, his eyes stayed alert and he confidently brandished his sword ready for action. Eventually, he needed to rest. Beneath an immense, magical tree, he stopped to plan his next move. Exhausted, the weary adventurer had almost given up hope, but he could sense the elusive creature was near. It's your turn to read your whole paragraph back. And as you're doing that, think about these questions. Can you get a sense of what it's like to be the reader of your writing? Is there a vivid picture in your mind of what is happening in this part of the story? How do you feel when you read your writing back? And what do you think happens next. I'd like you to pause the video now, read back your paragraph, and I'll see you when you've finished. Wow, you have worked so hard and I really hope that you're feeling proud of yourself. You've written the next bit of the story. That is so fantastic. You did a great job in the writing warm up, got ready to write. Then you wrote each part of the build up in small sections. And then you read back your paragraph. Really well done. If you'd like to, you can ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter by tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak. And that would be fantastic because it means that it means that I would get to see your amazing writing. So, I hope you have a really lovely rest of your day, and I'm looking forward to our next lesson very soon.

To write the build-up

To write the build-up

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UnitEnglish / The Jabberwocky - Narrative writing

English