To write clear action (Part 2)

Key Stage 1

English

Anansi and Tiger

﻿Hi everyone, Miss Fryer here for lesson nine of our Anansi and Tiger Action unit. In lesson eight, we started off with our first action scene between Anansi and the Tiger and today we're going to be writing about Anansi's interaction with the Queen Bee. I asked you, how small you thought the smallest spider or reportedly the smallest spider, the Patu digua is? How small did you think? Did you think as small as your little finger? Maybe as small as a penny, smaller than that? Maybe small as your fingernail? How small can spiders go? Well, let me tell you that a patu digua is so small, it is the fifth of the size of a pinhead. That means that the spider is so small, you could fit five of them on the head of this pin. That is so tiny. It's so tiny, I can hardly see it. That is amazing. We're going to start off today with a speaking activity. Then we're going to be reflecting on our learning and the writing we did in lesson eight. Then we're going to do some shared writing before you do some independent writing and editing of your own. In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or paper, a pencil and your brain. So pause the video now if you need to get any of those things. My speaking activity today is about one of the elements of my action writing toolkit, adjectives to add detail. I have written two sentences for you but they are missing something important. They're missing an adjective and we know we want lots of lovely adjectives if we're going to meet the criteria of our action writing toolkit. My first sentence goes like this, Anansi showed Python a, stick. But what kind of stick? What's it like? We just don't know. It needs an adjective. How about the second one? The hmm bees flew into the hmm barrel. That one is missing two adjectives. I don't know what the bees are like, I don't know what the barrel is like. They need adjectives. What I'd like you to do is to think of those adjectives. See if you can think of some good words to put in those empty spaces, so that we can get a better idea of what that stick, those bees and that barrel is like. Pause the video to have a go. Okay, let's see what you came up with. Anansi showed Python a, tell your screen. Did you tell me what the stick is like? Let's have a look at some of the adjectives that you might have chosen. We've got words like huge, it's got to be huge, isn't it? Cause he uses it to strap python too and again, massive. Massive is another much better word than big. How about mossy? Maybe it's a mossy stick that has green moss growing on it. Maybe it's a big, thick stick. Not only is it long, it's also thick. How about gnarled? That's a good word. I like that word. It's got a silent g at the start. Gnarled means it's all kind of crooked and windy or how about jagged? It's sharp and pointy and got lots of sharp angles. All of those could be words for a stick. And the next one that hmm bees flew into the hmm barrel. What did you come up with? Shall we have a look at some bee words first? Some words that you could have chosen. How about something like fuzzy? Bees are pretty fuzzy. They're also busy, have some alliteration there, busy bees. These are also very hard-working, the hard working bees. We could have had that they're known for their hard work also for their organisation. How about organised bees? Obedient bees, they do what they're told. The Queen gives an order and they do it straight away. They are obedient or just simply stripy. Bees are pretty stripy, yellow and black stripes. Let's have a look at some words for the barrel, shall we? What did you come up with? Was it any of these? How about enormous? It's got to be enormous to fit in all those bees, isn't it? Round, most barrels are round. Most barrels are wooden, made of wood. How about sturdy? Sturdy is a good word, means strong and solid. How about giant? Another word for enormous and packed. With all those bees in it, it's going to be packed, isn't it? Lots of good adjective choices you could have done. I'm sure that you came up with good ones too. Now, it's an opportunity for you to reflect on your learning from lesson eight. You're going to need your action writing you studied in lesson eight if you have it. Have a read of your writing. Pause the video and just check it. Read it through and see what you've got too. Now its time for more writing. You're going to need your boxing from lesson six and your verb from lesson seven cause that's going to give you a lot of the words you need for your writing today. When we are writing, the same as always. When we are doing things in this unit, we need to make sure we are writing action that is clear. Three ways will do that, we write what's happened in a clear order. That's our step by step, ♪ You got to show what happens step by step ♪ That's the clear order we're talking about. ♪ You've got to show what happens where and when ♪ That's the second part of our toolkit. ♪ You got to show what happens, how it looks ♪ Describe how it looks with adjectives to add detail. ♪ You got to show what happens ♪ So I want to write some action about the Queen Bee today. I'm going to start off with something from my toolkit, where. Where does Anansi meet the Queen Bee? In the beehive. So, I'm going to have Anansi make his way to the beehive, okay? Anansi made his way to the beehive. lets tap it out. Anansi made his way to the beehive. On your head. Anansi made his way to the beehive. On your chin. Anansi made his way to the beehive. On your chest. Anansi made his way to the beehive. On your fingers. Anansi made his way to the beehive. How many words? Seven words. Anansi m-a-de, made his way t and o spells to, the beehive, made his way to the beehive at the end of my sentence comes a full stop. We want to pick things that are in clear order. So, when he got there, that will give me a clear order. It's not before he got there or while he's moving, when he got there. When he got there what did he do? He sang out, ♪ Oh, bees ♪ So that's going to be my sentence. When he got there he sang out, ♪ Oh, bees ♪ Let's go. So the word when, with a capital letter for the start of a sentence. When he g-o-t, got t h e r e, there. When he got there, he sang. He's got a singsong voice, doesn't he? He s-a-n-g out, what's those words? ♪ Oh, bees ♪ We should have our spelling of Oh from our first one, we had Oh, Tiger. ♪ Oh, bees ♪ ♪ Put ees, exclamation mark ♪ Okay, now I've got my verbs here. Let me grab them. I know I need to make sure the Queen Bee flew. That was my adjective for her. So let's have the Queen Bee flew out. That's how we are doing that. The, capital T for The, Queen, q-een b-ee. We need a capital Q capital K cause they both her names. The queen bee f-l-ew, flew out to meet him. To m-e-e-t h-i-m, to meet him. I think this is another chance to use our conjunction and. The Queen Bee flew out to meet him and Anansi made a plan. There we go because he's thinking of it the same time. We've joined those two actions together. What the queen bee is doing, what Anansi is doing. Join them together with that conjunction and to meet him and Anansi made a p-l-a-n, full stop. Now what is it that he asks her? Do you remember? Is it true that bees squabble all the time? That's right. He's speaking, is it t-r-u-e, u e eu a phase five sound, is it true that bees, now let me look at my boxing for the word squabble. There it is, looks like squabble the sight word. Bees squabble, now squabble a fight and bicker amongst themselves. Is it true that bees squabble all the time? And he's asking her a question. Is it true that bees squabble all the time? So not a full stop, we need a question mark. Is it true that bees squabble all the time? He's asking her a question and what does she say back? No, we work as a team. Let's put that. No, short sentence. No. We work, looks like walk sight word. We work as a t-e-a-m and say team, said, s a i d, said the Q-u-e-e-n. Right I could go on and on about Anansi's plan and the bees flying into the barrel and her trapping, in trapping her Sorry but I think it's time I stopped writing and you started. Now that I've had my turn, it's right there on the screen. It's time for you to have a go. Write the action scene between Anansi and the Queen Bee Using our toolkit to help you. You can go all the way if you'd like, all the way into Anansi's trick, going into the barrel and him slamming the lead shut. Write as much as you can, but remember, it's important to use your verbs that you wrote in lesson seven. Pause the video now to complete your task. Now that we've done our writing, it's time to edit our work. When we check, we need to check that it meets our learning objective of writing action that is clear. So checking off against our writing toolkit to make sure we've got everything we need. Then it's time for a sad edit. Is there anything that we can do to swap, add or delete that will make our writing even better? I'm going to do those things now. Okay, so I want to check that my writing fulfils my learning objective of action that's clear. So I've got him making his way to the beehive and then singing out, he flew out, Anansi made a plan and the queen bees talking. Yeah, I think my action is clear, it's definitely going step by step. How about when and where? That might help me with my swap, add and delete as well. Yeah, I think I'm going to add flew straight out, adjective straight told me how she flew and what it was like. About adjectives, that adjectives for detail. Yeah, do you know what? Made his way it doesn't really tell me what Anansi was like when he was travelling to the beehive. Doesn't seem sneaky enough for him. How about that word that we read in the original story about slinked as an ink word, isn't it? We could use that top out. S-l-i-n-k and then ed for past tense, slinked across to the beehive that makes sense, a-c-r-o-s-s. Anansi slinked across to the beehive, that's better. That gives me a lot more detail about how he got there. He slinked carefully and stealthily, like a sneaky spider. When he got there, he sang out, ♪ Oh, bees ♪ I've added in straight. I'm going to swap the word said because it's not very descriptive. It's a bit boring, the word said. How do you think she says, no, we work as a team? I think I'm going to use the word muttered, like you're saying no, we work as a team. Muttered, m-u-t-t-e-r and then ed, muttered the Queen Bee. Let's add an extra word in here. Let's add in how she muttered crossly, c-r-o-s-s-l-y, happy /y/, move the full stop to the end. So I've swapped some words up here, I've added in the word straight, swapped these ones down here as of these, I think I'm meeting my learning objective. So I wont to delete anything today? Actually, I've got a repetition of out. I try not to repeat out so I'm going to delete one of them. The Queen Bee flew straight to meet him, there he sang, yeah am getting rid of that out. Now I've already got one out. It's normally best to use different words and not repeat yourself if you can. So I swapped I didn't delete it today. Swapped, added and deleted. Cool, your turn. And last thing we need to do our five finger check. That's what we do at the end of all of our writing, to check that our grammar and transcription skills are perfect. We need to make sure we've got a capital letter at the start of all of our sentences and for all of our characters names. We need to make sure there is finger space in between every single word. We want to make sure our Spelling's are all correct, including the key words from our boxing template and from our verb list. You might also want to sound out some of the words that you're not sure of to make sure you've got all of the right sounds. Make sure you've got a full stop at the end of all of your sentences and read it all through finally, to make sure it makes sense. So have a go now, time to edit your sentences. Make sure you've got action that is clear. Do your sad edit, swap, add and delete things and do your five finger check to make sure that your writing is the best it can be. Pause the video now to complete your task. And that is it for lesson nine. In lesson 10, we are going to be finishing off our writing. Writing our last action scene between Anansi and the Python. So I look forward to seeing you there. Trivia times is going to be my last lot of trivia of the units. It's about jumping spiders. Have you heard of jumping spiders? Can you guess what they're famous for? That's right. Jumping. Jumping spiders are very, very special because they can jump Several times their own height. Now, I don't know about you, but I can't jump as high as my own head and certainly not any higher. Jumping spiders can go quite a few times bigger than their own height. But how many times bigger do you think they can jump? Two times their height? Four times? More than 10 times their height? Well, have a sensible guess and I will tell you at the start of our final lesson of the unit, lesson 10. Bye.

To write clear action (Part 2)

To write clear action (Part 2)

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UnitEnglish / Anansi and Tiger

English