To write an opening that hooks

Key Stage 1

English

Baba Yaga: created story (openings)

﻿Hello, super storytellers, and welcome to this English lesson. My name is Ms. Cashin. And this is lesson seven of unit five. If you've been doing this unit with me so far, you will know that we are making our very own recycled story based on the story of Baba Yaga that we first heard in unit four, lesson one. Remember you can always go back and listen to that again. Today we are going to be writing in opening that hooks our reader in. So we're going to be thinking about the setting, who our characters are, and what that problem is in the story, so our reader wants to read more. So let's see what we're going to do in today's lesson to get us ready for our amazing writing. We're going to start today's lesson with a game, where we're going to think about our main character and how they're feeling at different points in our story. Then, if you did lesson six of this unit, we're going to use our box plan of our opening. And we're going to use that to make sure that we've really thought about all the different points of our opening. Then you're going to watch me do some writing. Then you're going to have a go. First, we're going to write an opening that hooks the reader by building a vivid setting. And we might introduce the characters as well. Then we're going to write up to the time that the precious thing is stolen. These are the things that you're going to need for our lesson today. You need something to write on, and it would be brilliant if you had some lined paper so that your opening is really, really neat. It would also be really good if you could get the box plan from lesson six, if you did it. You need something to write with, so a pen or a pencil, and you need your fantastic brain, so that you can write a really amazing opening that hooks the reader in. So we're going to get started with our game. I've got my story map ready for our game. I'm going to be thinking about some different points in our recycled stories to ask you about before our game. And I want you to think about your face. And you're going to think about the face of your main character, and what it might be doing at different points in our story. So let me have a look. Hmm, can you show me your character's face at the beginning of the story? In three, two, one. Go. What a fantastic face. I think Elly would have a happy face at the beginning of the story. Right, can you please show me your main character's face when they see that their precious thing has been stolen? Three, two, one. Go. Oh my goodness, fantastic. You might've had a shocked face. You might've had a devastated face. So many different things. You might just be confused, going, "Where have they gone?" You might not have realised that they'd been snatched yet. Can you show me your main character's face when they peer around the corner and they see the monster? Can you show me their face in three, two, one? Oh, fantastic. Very nervous, very worried faces. Can you show me one more? Can you show me your main character's face at the end of the story? In three, two, one. Maybe you had a happy face. But I think I'd have a relieved face. I might have them going. Thank goodness I got away with that. Well done for joining in with our game. We are ready to think about the opening of our story now. Now we're going to use our box plan of our very own opening to remind ourselves what happens in our opening before we go and write it. So you're going to watch me do it, and then you're going to do the same thing. I'm just going to quickly use my box plan from lesson six to think about what is the purpose of each section of my opening, so I'm completely clear before I go and do my writing. So I know that this section I want to introduce my characters. And I really want the reader to feel attached to Buster. So I put the sweet pup Buster, because that is the precious thing that's going to be stolen. I want my readers to feel really upset when it goes away. My setting needs to be calm, and I thought about really trying to make it sound like a beautiful, magical place. So I've got the towering mountains, the cosy igloo. I really like those words as well. I want to make sure that I think about those. Then I'm going to introduce my monster through this conversation. So Elly's mum is going to say, "You must stay in the igloo." Oh, that's an important word, "You must." She's making sure she knows how important it is. Then my tension's going to build because Elly is going to make what I think is quite a silly decision to leave the house. It's quite unsafe. And then the powerful owl is going to steal sweet Buster away, and Elly's going to be completely shocked and really saddened, devastated, almost. I might put devastated down, actually. I didn't yesterday, but now I think about it again, I would really like to use that, so I'm going to put in devastated. So now that you've watched me talk through my box plan, if you have yours from lesson six, you can do that now, too. Remember, you can think through it, you can speak through it, you can even write down some more words as you go, or circle some words that you think are really fantastic. I've got some sentence stems here to help you to do that. So you could say, I want to use. I want the reader to imagine. And I want the reader to feel. So really think about the purpose of each section. So you can pause the video now to go and talk through your box plan. Well done, super storytellers, absolutely fantastic. Now we're going to write an opening that hooks the reader by building that vivid setting. I'm also going to make sure in that first sentence that I introduce my characters. So you're going to watch me do that, and then you're going to do it for your very own recycled story. So I'm going to start my story with, "Once upon a time." There we go. "Once upon a time there lived a young girl named Elly," and I already thought about that in my box plan. So, "Once upon a time, there lived." There, that's one of our tricky words. We just need to know how to spell it. T-H-E-R-E. "Once upon a time, there lived a," and I want to say "young girl named Elly." So I've got the word young there that I can copy over. "Young girl." Let me think about girl. Well, I'm going to use my sounds when I'm ever not sure. There's my er sound. Girl, "Once upon a time, "there lived a young girl called Elly." "Once upon a time, there lived a young girl called Elly." Full stop. I'm going to check back. "Once upon a time, there lived a young girl called Elly." Oh, I missed my capital letter for Elly. It's a name, so I'm going to cross that out and replace it, fantastic. "Once upon a time, there lived a young girl called Elly." She lived, and I want to say who she lives with and where she lived, so I'm going to combine these. I'm going to say she lived in a cosy igloo with her mother, her father, and her sweet pup Buster. She lived, so capital S for she. And that's another one of our tricky high-frequency words. We just need to know it. She lived in a cosy. Oh, I think I could add another adjective there, actually, now I'm thinking about it a bit more. I might say a cosy, little igloo. That was one of our spelling words. Cosy, little. Oh, is that L-E, the oo sound. "She lived in a cosy, little igloo with." "She lived in a cosy, little igloo with her mother, "her father, and her sweet." And we should say he's a wolf pup, actually. "Sweet wolf pup, Buster." And I remembered my capital B for Buster that time. I'm going to read it back. "She lived in a cosy, little igloo with her mother, "her father," that's a list, I need my comma. "Her mother, her father, and her sweet wolf pup, Buster." Now I'm going to describe that setting. So, I'm going to say, "There were towering mountains around them." And all these snowflakes, that they could be whirling, they could be dancing, they could be falling. I like dancing 'cause I think that's going to help with my happy mood. So, "There were towering mountains "and dancing snowflakes all around them." There were, two of our tricky words again, we just need to know them. There, T-H-E-R-E. Were, W-E-R-E. There were towering. We might say snow-capped mountains, actually. I remembered that from some of our other lessons. Towering, snow-capped mountains. And dancing snowflakes, oh beautiful. Dancing snowflakes all around them. Then let me have a think. Then. Right, let me have a read. "There were towering, snow-capped mountains "and dancing snowflakes all around them." I'm going to think back to what I needed to do. I wanted to introduce my characters and introduce the setting, and have a calm and happy mood to this section. So, "Once upon a time, "there lived a young girl called Elly." So I've introduced Elly. And, "She lived in a cosy, little igloo." Well, that definitely makes me feel happy about the setting. "With her mother, her father, "and her sweet wolf pup, Buster." So I've introduced everyone. And, "Cosy, little igloo" does make it sound like a lovely place to live. "There were towering, snow-capped mountains "and dancing snowflakes all around them." So that sentence tells me a little bit more about the setting, and definitely helps my reader to feel really happy and excited about the land that they're in before they find out about the monster. Now that you've seen me write my first few sentences where I introduce the setting and the characters, it's time for you to do the same. So you can pause the video in a moment and write three sentences that build the setting and introduce the characters. And there are some sentence starters here to help you. So, you could have, "Once upon a time." "They lived." "There were." So I had, "Once upon a time a young girl called Elly "lived with her mother and her father. "They lived in a cosy igloo. "There were towering mountains and dancing snowflakes "all around them." So you can pause the video now and go and write your first few sentences. Well done, superstars. You have done such a fantastic job with your storytelling all ready. There is some more to our opening. If you really want to challenge yourself today, you can keep watching and you'll see me write up to when the precious thing is stolen. And then you can have a go at doing that too. So I hope you're up for our writing challenge. So I've got my box plan that I'm going to look at to help me to finish off my opening, and make sure that by the time I get to the precious thing being stolen, my reader is completely hooked into my story. So I'm going to start with Elly's mother told her never to leave the igloo in case the terrible Yeti got her and Buster and ate them up. So, Elly's mother is her mother. So I'm going to start here. Elly, but it's her mother so I'm going to have my possessive apostrophe, Elly's mother. "Elly's mother told her "not to leave the igloo. "She said a terrible Yeti "would come and eat her and Buster up." She said, she and said, that's another one of our tricky, high-frequency words. We just need to know it. S-A-I-D, "She said that "a terrible Yeti "will get her "and Buster." Capital B for Buster. "And eat them up." and I'm actually going to put an exclamation mark there. "Elly's mother told her not to leave the igloo." Full stop. "She said that a terrible," oh, I forgot word there. "A terrible Yeti will get her and Buster and eat them up." What happens here? "One day Elly decided to leave because she was bored." Okay, "One day Elly decided to leave "because she was bored." So one, I need my capital O, this is another one of our tricky words. We just need to know it, O-N-E. "One day Elly "left because," B-E-C-A-U-S-E. "One day Elly left because she was bored." Was is another one of our tricky words. We just need to know it. W-A-S, bored, oh, I haven't got that on my box plan. I'm going to have to think it through. I'm going to use my sounds. Bored, . Brilliant, "One day Elly left because she was bored. "When she got to the bottom of the mountain, "a powerful owl swooped down and stole Buster." So, "When she got to the bottom of the mountain." When, that's another one of our tricky words, just need to know it. W-H-E-N, when she got to the mountain, a powerful, a powerful owl swooped down and stole Buster. I'm going to finish with a really short sentence. Just, "She was shocked." "She was shocked." Exclamation mark again. Wow, super storytellers, you have paid such brilliant attention today. Now you can use your box plan to write up to when the precious thing is stolen. So there are three boxes. But you only need maybe one or two sentences for each box. There are some sentence starters here to help you. So, one day mm decided to. And then you could say, "Suddenly, when the animal "swoops down," or however your precious thing is stolen, you could use that word to make it very, very exciting and dramatic. So you can pause the video now to go and write the end of your opening. Well done, super storytellers. You now have an amazing opening for your story. I would love, love, love to read some of these openings. I bet they are amazing and I would be completely hooked in if I read them. So remember, you can always share your work with Oak National. If you'd like to, please ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak. I would love to see that. I'm really excited about our next lesson this unit 'cause we're going to carry on our story. And we're going to write about the three animals that our character has met. So, I can't wait. Bye, super storytellers. And I hope to see you for our next lesson.

To write an opening that hooks

To write an opening that hooks

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UnitEnglish / Baba Yaga: created story (openings)

English