To write a setting description (Part 2)

Key Stage 2

English

Sherlock Holmes - Mixed outcomes

﻿We've now reached the final lesson of our first writing outcome on Sherlock Holmes. Today we are going to use the vocabulary that we've been generating about Sherlock's office to write a setting description. I'm really looking forward to seeing what you produce in this lesson. In today's lesson we will be using all of the learning that we have been working on in the past 10 lessons to write our setting description. This is lesson number 10 of 10. In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or paper, a pen or pencil and your best learning brain. We're going to warm up by learning about complex sentences. Then we're going to read a model write, and finally we're going to write our description of Sherlock's office. So before we start our warmup, we're going to revise simple and compound sentences. I would like you to match the sentence type to the picture and then match the picture and the sentence type to an example sentence, pause the video while you do that. Okay everyone hopefully we've all had a go. So let's start with matching the sentence types to the images. So here I can see my compound sentence has got 2 main clauses, and here's an example of a compound sentence. Leather bound-books lined the shelves and ornate paintings hung from the walls. Now we can tell that the simple sentence consists of one main clause, and here's an example of a simple sentence. Silence blanketed the calm, tranquil room. So now we're ready for our writing warmup. We've reminded ourselves about how to make a simple sentence and how to make a compound sentence, and now we're going to learn about complex sentences. Complex sentences consists of a main clause and a subordinate clause. I might often use these actions, the main clause comes out on top because it can make sense on its own. The subordinate clause is less powerful than the main clause so it goes below, because the subordinate clause needs the main clause to make sense. So here we're introduced to Mr. Subordinate. So Mr. Main, he's a man clause and makes sense on his own. The subordinate clause also contains a verb, so it's also a clause but it does not make sense on its own. And a subordinating conjunction is the first word of a subordinate clause. So let's look at some subordinating conjunctions. There are lots of subordinating conjunctions, here are four commonly used ones. As, your turn, when, your turn, because, your turn, if, your turn. So these four conjunctions are very, very commonly found in our writing. Now remember this subordinating conjunction is the first word of a subordinate clause. So here's an example of a complex sentence, An antique clock ticked rhythmically as flames gently crackled in the fireplace. Now, that word rhythmically, I can see the word rhythm in there. It means to a regular steady beat because it ticked with each second. So let's read it through one more time. Join in with me, An antique clock ticked rhythmically as flames gently crackled in the fireplace. Now my main clause comes first, an antique clock ticked rhythmically, this is one main clause. If I were to put a full stop after the word rhythmically, it would make sense on its own as a simple sentence. And my subordinate clause follows, as flames gently crackled in the fireplace. My main clause comes first and my subordinate clause comes second. Now I could also play around with the structure of my sentence. I couldn't move my subordinate clause to the front of the sentence. I could begin with the word as. So my subordinate conjunction is as, as flames gently crackled in the fireplace comma, an antique clock ticked rhythmically full stop, now something that's really important for us to remember. If we decide to put our subordinate clause first, then we must use a comma after the subordinate clause. The purpose of the comma is to separate the subordinate clause from the main clause. Now if I put my main clause first and my subordinate clause second, I don't need a comma because the subordinate conjunction as would be in the centre, and it acts as the glue holding those two clauses together. But when as is at the front of the sentence. So as flames gently crackled in the fireplace, something needs to go in between those two clauses to separate them, so that's why we use a comma. As flames gently crackled in the fireplace comma, an antique clock ticked rhythmically. So now we're going to read a model outcome. I'm going to read the paragraph first, and then you can pause the video and reread it yourself if you would like to. Holmes and Watson's office was a tranquil haven from the chaos on the street outside. Crackling embers in the fireplace bathed the room in a soothing amber glow as early morning sunlight streamed through the open curtains. The walls were lined with bulky, leather-bound books and the antique clock which stood proudly on the ordinate fireplace, gently ticked away the seconds. We're going to go through this now each sentence at a time and really break down what the words mean. So Holmes and Watson's office was a tranquil haven from the chaos on the street outside. Haven, your turn, well done. Now haven is a place of safety or refuge, somewhere to hide from. Tranquil, your turn. Great, this is a calm or pleasant word, an adjective meaning peaceful or blissfully quiet, how you feel when you take a little nap in the shade. Crackling embers in the fireplace bathed the room in a soothing amber glow as early-morning sunlight streamed through the open curtains. Here is a photograph of some embers, like whenever you've had a roaring fire and then the fire dies down and you're left with those hot glowing coals. The embers are the remnants of that fire. And here we have then soothing amber glow. So amber is a colour, which is like an orangy colour and here's the word soothing. This is a lazy or relaxing word, an adjective meaning calming or comforting, like a sweet song that makes you feel peaceful and sleepy. So if we go back to that sentence, a soothing amber glow, so that glow from the fires embers is lighting the room in this sort of lovely orange golden colour, and it feels really cosy and calm in the room. The walls were lined with bulky, leather-bound books and the antique clock, which stood proudly on the ornate fireplace, gently ticked away the seconds. Some tricky words, bulky, antique and ordinate or three adjectives. So an antique clock. Remember we were saying that the word antique comes from French and we would use it to describe an old precious well-made piece of furniture. This is an image of an ornate fireplace, meaning it's really well-made and intricately designed. And here's the word bulky. This is an adjective meaning large, heavily built or stocky, like someone with a big body and chunky muscles. So we described the books as being bulky, so they're filled with knowledge, big thick heavy books that are brimming overflowing with knowledge and information. So here's a mindmap which I shared with you on our last lesson. Now we've just discussed some of this vocabulary. If there are some vocabulary here that just stood out to you and you think oh I'm definitely going to use that, but you don't currently have it in your mindmap, make sure that you jot it down quickly now. Now I would like you to pause the video and add any new vocabulary to your mindmap. And here is the full paragraph for you to make that from. Once you're done, you can press play. Okay everyone we're now going to write our description of Sherlock's office. For our success criteria today, we will be focusing on prepositional phrases, which tell us where a noun is. We are going to create atmosphere for our reader by using the most precise descriptive language, thinking about the nouns, adjectives, verbs, and adverbs that we have mind mapped and planned so far. And finally we are going to include at least one complex sentence using the knowledge that we've just gained from our lesson input today. Pause the video now while you quickly write down those three success criteria, and labelled them one, two and three. Make sure to have your mindmap right next to you for your writing activities. Okay everybody, so I've got my learning space ready to go. I have my success criteria in the top corner. I also have my word banks and my vocabulary mindmap. I'm going to need all of these resources to really help me produce a very best writing outcome for this lesson. So you can pause this video while you go and organise your learning space. If your learning spaces organised, then we are ready to go. So I'm just going to take a quick look again at my success criteria. Number one of my success criteria is using prepositional phrases. I think this would be a really good place to start because I need to bring my reader into Sherlock's office. Remember we finished at the front door, so we've got to bring our reader into the office using prepositional phrases. Why don't you spend a moment thinking about which prepositional phrase you would like to use to show your reader that we have brought them inside Sherlock's office. The prepositional phrase that I'm going to use is inside number 221b Baker Street. Now that's my prep positional phrase. Now I need to finish the rest of this sentence. Inside number 221b Baker Street was office full stop. Quick capital letter and full stop check. Now I would like you to have a think about your first sentence, say it out loud. When you're ready you can write it down, and pause this video while you do that. Okay everyone. So we should have our first sentence planned out. My first sentence is, Inside number 221b Baker Street was an office. Now I need to explain to my reader a little bit more using some high-level adjectives, what this office was like. So let's have a look at my word bank and my mindmap. I'm going to refer to this office as a haven. Remember that word haven is a new piece of vocabulary, a safe place, a retreat or a hideaway from all of the mania and hysteria that's happening on the street. Okay so I'm actually going to turn this full stop into a dash and I'm going to join together two main clauses. Inside number 221b Baker Street was an office, a welcome haven from the hm, I need a word like chaos but I feel like we've used the word chaos a lot over the past few days, I'm going to refer to it as the hectic hustle and bustle of the street outside. Inside number 221b Baker Street was an office dash, a welcome haven from the hectic hustle and bustle of the street outside. So I have included a prepositional phrase and I've referred to the office as a welcome haven. So I've started to use some of my ambitious precise vocabulary. Now I would like you to pause this video while you have a think about what your first sentence is going to be and how you're going to start describing the office. I've started with a general comment about the office, but now I'm going to choose one or two objects inside the room to draw my reader's attention to certain objects. Remember how we said earlier, there were so many objects in Sherlock's office, that if we were going to describe them in lots of detail, every single one of them, then our descriptive paragraph would last forever, and our reader probably wouldn't be that engaged. So instead we're going to take a couple of different aspects of the room and describe them in lots of depths. This is where we're going to use our mindmap to think about the descriptive vocabulary for the appearance of some of these objects, where they were in the room using prepositional phrases and describing perhaps if they make a sign. So any verbs or adverbs that we might associate with those objects as well, have a think, choose on your mindmap which objects in the office you are going to focus on. I'm going to say, This cluttered comma, another advocate for the room, cluttered and I'm going to go with cosy, This cluttered comma cosy room, was brimming with, remember that new vocabulary, brimming means overflowing or full of, it was brimming with antique artefacts. Now that word antique it's a French word. That Q-U-E letter string is really common in the French language. If we're going to copy down the word antique, we've got to make sure that we spell it very, very carefully. It's on the screen for you to make from. So this cluttered, cosy room was brimming with antique artefacts and hmm, what else? Ah, there's that word ornate, ornate furniture. Oh I need to double check my spelling full top. So this cluttered, cosy room was brimming with antique artefacts and ornate furniture. Now I would like you to have a look at our success criteria. So far I have included a prepositional phrase. Inside number 221b Baker Street. I've also started to create atmosphere by referring to the room as a haven. I've also started describing the room using other high level adjectives, such as cluttered and cosy. Now I would like to use a complex sentence. I'm going to write a complex sentence with my subordinate clause first. The subordinating conjunction that I'm going to use is as. We practised writing some as complex sentences in our previous lesson. So the first word of my complex sentence is going to be as, I need to describe two things that were happening at once. Going to look at my mindmap again, and think about two things I could describe happening at the same time. Okay, I know I definitely want to refer to the fire. So what was the fire doing? Some verbs associated with the fire. I'm going to go to my fire words. Okay I'm going to go with flickered. As the fire flickered, How did it flicker though? An adverb, maybe you could suggest to me an adverb. As the fire flickered gently in a corner of the room, so there's one thing that's happening. As the fire flickered gently in a corner of the room. What punctuation do I need to use? If I've used my subordinate clause first what do I have to remember? Can you remind me? Ah fantastic I've got to use a comma to mark the boundaries between my subordinate clause and my main clause. As the fire flickered gently in a corner of the room comma, what else was happening at the same? Going to look and see any other objects that could describe. I'm going to go with the clock, I'm going to describe the clock. I want to describe it as old, but I'm going to go with a more precise adjective, ancient. An ancient clock ticked away the seconds rhythmically. Now we have already encountered this word rhythmically. That's a tricky word to spell. It's got the word rhythm in it. Rhythm, meaning a steady beat, a clock ticks at a steady beat, it ticks away every second. So it's an appropriate adverb to use here. Let's have a quick reread of the sentence. As the fire flickered gently in a corner of the room comma, an ancient clock ticked away the seconds rhythmically. I've just written my complex sentence. Now I would like you to pause the video while you write your complex sentence, you might use as, as your subordinating conjunction. You could also perhaps use when, that's another good one to use if you're describing two things that are happening at the same time. Pause the video while you think about and then say out loud and then write down your complex sentence. Okay, well done everybody hopefully you've all paused and you've written your complex sentence. I'm going to actually build on the idea of the clock ticking into my next sentence. I'm going to use some very short sentences. In fact just using one word in the sentence at a time to describe the sound of a clock. What side does eight clock make? Well done, it makes a ticking sound, so I'm going to write tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Sometimes using one word sentences can be a really effective way for us to bring a scene to life for our reader, especially when we're doing something like describing a sound. Okay, I want to write my final sentence now. I would like to finish this paragraph with an atmosphere sentence, something to leave my reader with an understanding that this room felt magical, it felt special as if something really exciting and wonderful was about to happen. So I'm going to go to my mindmap and look at the section where I've recorded some atmosphere vocabulary. Okay I'm going to go as magic hung in the air like a spout. I would also like to actually include a little bit more vocabulary about the fire. I want to describe a little bit more about the effect of the fire on the room. So let me talk about that word those embers, which we mentioned earlier. The fires burning embers, the fire, note the embers belonged to the fire, so a fire apostrophe s. The fires burning embers, what did they do oh that verb that we used? Oh yeah it's in my fire word bank. They bathed the room in a soothing amber glow, and now I'm going to finish with my magic point. And it was as if magic hung in the air like a spell. Now I'm just going to resize this so it's a little bit easier for us to read, there we go. I would like you to think about and write your final sentence. So I finished by trying to create some atmosphere. I wonder whether you are going to do the same thing. Pause this video now while you use your mindmaps and your word banks and our model right to help you write that final sentence. Okay everyone hopefully we have now finished our final sentence. We've done a very quick two finger check, capital letters, full stops and appropriate punctuation. Now I would really like it if you could help me reread my paragraph and make sure that I have met my success criteria. I want to find one example of each and while I'm looking for each of my success criteria, I would like you to look through your writing and check whether you have also met your success criteria. So the first thing I'm going to look for is a propositional phrase. While I'm doing that I would like you to find a prepositional phrase in your writing and point it. Okay off you go. Okay I find my prepositional phrase, I'm going to underline it. Inside number 221b Baker Street, that's my prepositional phrase, it tells me where the office was. Now I would like you to find yours and say it out loud. Excellent, well done. Now beside where you've written one propositional phrase, you could write the number one and put a little circle around it to number it. Now I want to find where I have created atmosphere. That was success criteria number two. Okay, I'm going to go to my final sentence and take this, the magic hung in the air like a spell. I feel like I really created atmosphere for my reader there. Now I would like you to have a read through your paragraph and see where you have created atmosphere for your reader. Once you find it, I would love if you would read it out loud. Well done, that's fantastic. And our final success criteria is at least one complex sentence. So I wrote an as complex sentence. I started with my subordinate clause, I put my subordinate clause first, as the fire flickered gently in a corner of the room comma, Now if you also started your complex sentence with a subordinate clause, you've got to remember to put a comma after the subordinate clause to mark the boundaries between the subordinate clause and the main clause in that sentence. I've underlined mine, now I would like you to find your complex sentence and it with number three. So if you have found all three of your success criteria in your paragraph then you are finished well done. Now if there's a success criteria that you still need to meet, why don't you spend another minute or two writing one more sentence with that specific success criteria in mind? Okay everyone and that brings us to the end of our lesson. I am so impressed at the writing outcomes that you've all produced today. If you would like to, please do share your writing with the Oak National so I can see your outcomes. Well done for all of your hard work.

To write a setting description (Part 2)

To write a setting description (Part 2)

Slide deck

Lesson details

Key learning points

Licence

Video

Lesson appears in

UnitEnglish / Sherlock Holmes - Mixed outcomes

English