To write a recycled story with a mood that moves (Part 4)

Key Stage 1

English

Ganesh Gets Married (2)

﻿Hello everybody, it is me, Ms. McCartney, and I am really looking forward to our lesson today because we are going to be creating a mood to move our reader. And we are going to be writing our final setting, setting number three, from our recycled story. Superstar storytellers, today, you will need a piece of paper or something to write on, a pencil or something to write with, and your wonderful creative brains. You will also need our boxing up plan that we created together in lesson six of unit 11 to help us to remember what we are going to write about. If you need to go and get any of those things, pause your video now. Brilliant. Okay let's have a look at what we are learning today. We are going to start with a spelling activity then we are going to play a game called another, another. We are going to complete our shared write all together, and then we are going to edit our writing just like professional authors. Shall we get started with our spelling? Okay, we are still looking at that e sound, my turn e, your turn. Great pronunciation, everybody. Now we have the grapheme ey and that represents that e sound, but we also have the grapheme ee that makes the e sound. I am going to read out some sentences and there is a missing word, and this word has the e sound in it. I would like you to write down the word and try and choose, which e sound you think it is. Shall we get started with the first one? Kartikeya sees an eel in the sea. Kartikeya sees an eel in the sea. Pause your video now to write down the word eel with the correct grapheme. Excellent, sentence number two. The mmh was treacherous at times. The valley, the valley, hmm, pause your video now to write down the word valley. Excellent, let's move on to our last sentence. In the rain forest was a monkey, monkey. Can you write down the word monkey and choose which e sound you think goes into the word monkey? Pause your video now. Okay everybody. If you found that a little bit tricky that's okay, because now you are going to learn which e sound goes in which word. So let's have a look at the answers. We have got Kartikeya sees an eel in the sea, and that is the e sound spelled E-E. The valley was treacherous, was dangerous at times. That e sound is that the end of the word, and it is an ey. And our last sentence, in the rain forest was a monkey. That e sound is also ey and at the end of the word. I've just noticed that I've got two fullstops, silly miss McCartney. Quite often the e sound when it's spelled E-Y goes at the end of a word, not always, but quite often. Over to you now to practise. Can you create three sentences using both of our e graphemes? You have got the story words, Ganesh and Kartikeya, and the words valley, journey, key, creep, and queen. Pause your video now to create your sentences. Excellent work, everybody. I'm going to give you some special spelling shine to celebrate your success. Oh my goodness, so many sounds. Okay, we are going to now play a game called another, another. Okay, we are going to play a game called another, another now. So I am going to ask you to give me an example from the story, and then I'm going to ask you for another and another. So for example, Ms. McCartney might say, "Can you give me an example of a setting in the story?" And you might say, hmm, what might you say? You might say, "The mountains." And then I would say, "Another." And you might say, "The rice patties." And I would say, "Another." And you might say, "The polar bears, ice." Shall we get started? We are going to do two rounds together. Let's start with a slightly easier one. Can you name a character in our story? Tell me now, brilliant. Can you name another character? Excellent. And another character? Brilliant, I heard some learners say, "Ganesh, Kartikeya, and Buddhi," those are our main characters, but I also had lots of children talking about the animals, that Kartikeya meets in the way. So well done, fantastic. Hmm. Okay, can you tell me a mood that appears at the beginning of the story, a mood that appears at the beginning of the story. Whisper to your screen now. Fantastic, everybody. Can you give me another mood that appears in the middle of our story? Whisper to your screen now. Excellent, we have really started to understand moods, so to demonstrate your skills, can you give me another mood, that you know appears near the end of our story. Whisper to your screen now? Fantastic, everybody. I had one of our learners say the mood at the beginning of the story was mysterious because Ganesh asked a mysterious question. Okay, super storytellers. It is a really exciting, but a little bit of a sad lesson today because it is the end of unit 11. And it is the end of our journey of writing our recycled story. We are going to be writing about event or setting three, and that is our really hot setting. For Ms. McCartney, that setting is the desert. Now what I would like you to do is make sure that you can see your boxed up plan that I asked you to get at the beginning and look at your event three. I want you to read through what happens and the mood to remind yourself, so that our brains are nice and warmed up for our amazing piece of writing that we are going to craft together. So pause your video now to read through your plan. Excellent. So what happens in Miss McCartney's story, as Kartikeya goes to the very, very hot desert, he starts to get a headache and starts daydreaming, and he walks for hours over the sun dunes. And the mood is very tiresome. Kartikeya is exhausted, and he starts to lose hope and become really weary. I wonder what your mood is. Is it similar to mine? Is it really different? Shall we find out by starting our shared write. Okay lets start writing about our third and final setting, the really hot setting. And we are going to use our mood toolkit to create a mood, to engage and move our reader. We need to do that by considering the characters actions, appearances, thoughts, and feelings. It's really helpful to have this toolkit on the side so that we can be reminded of the features when we are writing. Pause your video now and write down your toolkit. Brilliant, let's get started. Today, I'm going to start my writing, thinking about Kartikeya's feelings. So I am going to say mmh, how do I think Kartikeya would be feeling and what would he be, okay, so I'm going to say. As, so I'm going to start my sentence with a subordinating conjunction and therefore have a subordinating clause. As, Kartikeya, as Kartikeya looked, across the, I'm going to use the word vast and that means really big. As Kartikeya looked across the vast desert, that's my subordinating clause. He felt, he felt, hmm, if I was looking at a desert that I had to race across, how would I feel? I think I'd feel quite overwhelmed. I'd have lots of different emotions. I might feel excited, but I might also feel like it was a huge task. As Kartikeya looked across the vast desert, he felt overwhelmed. I'm going to give myself a nice big tick for feelings. I would like you to pause the video now and write down your idea for how your Kartikeya would feel in your story. Brilliant. I heard somebody say Kartikeya felt like he was an explorer. What a great idea, well done. Okay, I'm going to think about Kartikeya's actions now. Hmm. Oh, I don't want to say he walked across the desert. I want to think about a different verb. Do I think he jumped, no. It would be too hot for him to jump so I'm going to use the word strolling. Strolling, strolling across, the dunes. Strolling across the dunes, hmm, what action would he be taking strolling across the dunes? I'm going to say, he dragged his feet. If you drag your feet it's a sign you're getting a bit weary and tired. Can you pause your video and write down your action here please? Fantastic. I heard somebody say that their Kartikeya kept wiping sweat from his brow. So from his eyebrows, fantastic. As Kartikeya looked across the vast desert, he felt overwhelmed. Strolling across the dunes, he dragged his feet. Right, I've got feelings and I've got actions. I'm now going to use a fronted adverbial to mark time. So I'm going to say, after hours and hours... Can you pause your video and think about what fronted adverbial you are going to use to mark time. Ooh, I had somebody say sometime later, what a great marker of time. After hours and hours, now I'm going to start thinking about his appearance. I'm going to say after hours and hours, he, or I'm going to use a simile. I'm going to compare him to something else. I'm going to say he looked like a wilted flower. Have you ever seen a flower that has been in a really hot room and it gets all floppy and it doesn't look as strong anymore. That's how I think Kartikeya would feel, would look, sorry. Can you pause your video, and I would like you to write down how your Kartikeya is appearing, how he's looking. Okay, after hours and hours Kartikeya, remember Kartikeya is a proper noun, so it needs a capital letter. After hours and hours, Kartikeya looked like a wilting flower. Oh poor Kartikeya, but what a great mood I have created. Okay, I'm going to tick appearances. As Kartikeya looked across the vast desert he felt overwhelmed. Strolling across the dunes, he dragged his feet. After hours and hours, Kartikeya looked like a wilting flower. Hmm., excellent. I'm now going to end with a rhetorical question to show Kartikeya's thoughts. Hmm, what do I think Kartikeya would be asking himself? I think he would say, "Will, this ever end?" Will this ever end? Can you pause your video and write down your rhetorical question? What would your Kartikeya be asking himself at this part of the story? Okay. I'm going to write, will this, I'm going to write ever in capital letters to show emphasis. Will this ever end? Okay, I am going to stop writing here. I'm going to read through my work and then you are going to do your writing and carry on and describe the final scene even more. As Kartikeya looked across the vast desert. Hmm, I want to change my word looked, I don't think it's very powerful. Kartikeya is feeling overwhelmed, so how would he be looking? As Kartikeya, I'm going to use the word stared, I think he would be staring, he wouldn't be able to stop looking. As Kartikeya stared across the vast desert, he felt overwhelmed. Strolling across the dunes, he dragged his feet. I really liked that image. I think it creates a really, really strong picture for my reader. After hours and hours, Kartikeya looked like a wilting flower. Now I'm going to change my fronted adverbial slightly. I'm going to say after what felt like hours, because actually, maybe it hasn't been hours and hours. Maybe he's so hot it just feels like hours and hours. After what felt like hours, Kartikeya looked like a wilting flower. I think that's a really, really good simile. Will this ever end? It is now your turn to construct your writing and write until the end of your really hot scene. I cannot wait to see your writing everybody, well done. It has been so wonderful to see all of you working so hard on your writing. Writing can be really difficult when we're trying to get down all of our ideas and make sure we have good spelling and punctuation and grammar, it's really tricky, so I am so proud of you. I am sending you some special shine. It is now time for you to edit your writing, and this is a really important step. I would like you to look carefully at your punctuation, make sure that you have got all of the different punctuation that you need in the right place. Then read through your work and make sure it makes sense. And then today I would like you to get your writing from lessons seven, lesson eight, lesson nine and today's lesson, and I would like you to read through all of the work you have done. And I want you to have a look and tell me in a second, what actions have you used? What appearances, thoughts and feelings. So job number one, edits today's work job. Job number two, read all of your pieces of writing, and job number three, think of your favourite technique that you have used to tell me. Pause your video now to complete your task. Excellent. I am ready to be almost knocked over by all of our learners telling me their favourite techniques. Can you whisper them to me on the screen now? Oh my goodness, it is literally knocking me over! I am so, so, so proud. You can make sure that when you do another piece of writing by yourself, you are using our actions, appearances, thoughts and feelings. Great job, everybody. I would love to see some of your writing. If you'd like to, please ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and @TeachTCartney #LearnwithOak. Goodbye, everyone.

To write a recycled story with a mood that moves (Part 4)

To write a recycled story with a mood that moves (Part 4)

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UnitEnglish / Ganesh Gets Married (2)

English