To write a recycled story with a mood that moves (Part 2)

Key Stage 1

English

Ganesh Gets Married (2)

﻿Hello everybody, it is me Miss. McCartney, and I am super excited for our learning today because we are going to do a shared write together. And we are going to be writing about our first recycled scene. And that is our really deep, dark, scary scene. So I cannot wait. To be the best learner that you can be today. You will need a piece of paper or something to write on. A pencil or something to write with. And your wonderful creative brain. You will also need your boxing up plan that you completed in lesson six of unit 11. And it will be really helpful if you had your Palace scene that we wrote together in lesson seven of unit 11. If you need to go and collect any of those things, pause your video now. Okay, let's get started and look at what we are going to be learning today. We are going to start with a spelling activity. Then we are going to have a little look at something called prepositions of place. We are then going to complete our shared write, and a really important last step. We are going to edit our writing just like professional authors. Let's get started with our spelling. We are looking at that E sound today. My turn E Your turn E, fantastic. You will notice that there are two different E sounds on my screen. I have the grapheme ey. My turn ey. Your turn, brilliant. And we have the grapheme ea. My turn ea. Your turn. So I am going to read out each sentence and you need to write down the missing words and you have to choose the correct grapheme to show the E sound. Let's start with the first sentence. Kartikeya relaxed for a moment on the... You need to think of a word that has the E sound. I'll give you a clue. He relaxed somewhere really hot beside the sea. Can you pause the video now to write down your word? Okay, we are going to reveal the answers at the end. Your second sentence; The birds in the rain forest had really colourful... Look at my action. Really colourful. It is something that is on the front of their face. And it has the E sound. Can you pause your video now and try and write down that word with the correct grapheme? Fantastic everybody. Let's look at our last sentence. Nectar was collected by some bees to make, to make something really sweet and sticky. And it has the E sound. Pause your video now to write down the word with the correct grapheme. Okay, shall we have a look at the correct answers and see if you guessed my words and you got the right E sounds? Let's speed through our first sentence. Kartikeya relaxed for a moment on the beach. Your word was beach and it had the ea grapheme. If you got that correct, give yourself a tick. And if you did not, that is okay, because you can fix your mistake to learn from it. Let's look at sentence number two. The birds in the rain forest had very colourful beaks. And this spelling was also that ea grapheme again. If you've got it right, give yourself tick. And if you didn't, fix it. And our final sentence; Nectar was collected to make honey. If you got that right, give yourself a tick. And if you did not, you can't fix it. Well done everybody. Because today you were working with two different E sounds. Over to you now to put your learning into practise. Can you create three sentences using the ey grapheme and ea grapheme? You have got the words Ganesh, Kartikeya on your screen, and you have got some other words to help you. If you would like a reminder of some words with our E sound. Pause your video now to complete your task. Excellent learning everybody. You are superstar spellers, and I am sending us some celebration shine. Let's move on now, because we are going to look at the deep sea or your really scary dark setting. I have just displayed my boxing up for a moment. And I am going to pause the video and remind myself of my ideas. You need to look at your boxing up that we did in lesson six of unit 11. And remind yourself of your ideas. Pause your video now to read through your plan. Excellent, so I've reminded myself that Kartikeya is going into the deepest, darkest depths of the sea, but the terrifying anglerfish, where he sees lots of shadows. And I am going to create a really enigmatic, mysterious and scary mood. Can you tell me where your character Kartikeya goes? Excellent, some really dark and scary places. Okay, before we start our shared write, we are going to extend our writer's toolkit by looking at prepositions of place. Now, prepositions of place can be a word or phrase that tells you where something is in relation to something else. My turn, your turn, with the words in the blue box. My turn, under. Your turn. Amongst, your turn. Against, your turn. Opposite, your turn. To the left, your turn. Beside, your turn. Okay, I would like you to think about your deep, dark, scary scene and use the sentence step. I could use the preposition to describe. So Miss. McCartney's example is, I could use the preposition amongst the plants at the very bottom of the sea were hiding some skeletal fish, which means I could see their skeletons. Oh my goodness. Can you pause your video now and choose three prepositions and describe how you will use them in your story. Fantastic work everybody? I heard a learner say under the big rock hid a mysterious creature. Wow, I'm so excited for our writing today. Make sure you have got your plan, your pen and your pencil. And I will see you in a second. We are now going to start our writing about our first scene. Our first scene is our scary, dark scene. Before we start writing, I would like you to write your toolkit at this side. Remember our toolkit is to create moods that move our reader, actions, appearances, thoughts, and feelings. I would like you to write it at the side so that you can tick off the different tools that you have used. So pause your video now to write down your toolkit. Okay, let's get started. I'm going to start my sentence, Kartikeya. Kartikeya is a proper noun. So it needs a capital letter. It is also the start of my sentence. Now I'm going to say Kartikeya raced. You might say rushed. You might say found it. Pause your video now and write down your action for how Kartikeya starts his journey. Brilliant, I'm going to say Kartikeya raced,. Ooh, let's make my ascend a bit longer. To the deepest, D-E-E-P-E-S-T. To the deepest, darkest, D-A-R-K-E-S-T. Darkest, depths of the ocean. Okay. You will write your idea when it is your turn to write. This is Miss. McCartney's idea. I am going to think of the next action that Kartikeya takes to set the mood. So I am going to say he slowed down and then I'm going to use the interruptive word, wait. I would like you to have a think about your action now and then write it down. Pause your video to do that now. Okay, so I heard some people say Kartikeya started to shake. That's also really good action. My action is slowed down and I'm going to explain that a bit more. He slowed he slowed down. He slowed down his swimming. Swimming, I needed to double my consonant before adding my suffix because I had a foul. He slowed down his swimming because, because he couldn't. Ooh a nice contraction here. Couldn't, I've got my apostrophe to show that my o has been replaced. He couldn't see a thing. Then I'm going to use my short interruption word, wait, to make my reader wait. I'm really nervous. Okay, Kartikeya raced to the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean. He slowed down his swimming because he couldn't see a thing. Wait. Now I am going to ask a rhetorical question. My rhetorical question is; what was that? What was that? If somebody said that to me in the story, it would make me a little bit nervous. I would now like you to think about what your rhetorical question would be. Pause your video and write down your rhetorical question. Okay. What, what was that? Okay, I need my question mark. What was that? So, so far, if I look at my toolkit, I have talked about Kartikeya's thoughts. What was that? I have also used the action, slow down and wait. Okay, I am going to show Kartikeya's feelings through another action. His heart was pumping, pumping so fast. He thought he might explode. Oh my goodness, okay. I would like you to think of another action to show his feelings and write it down at the side to remind yourself. Pause your video now, to do that. Okay, I'm going to read through my work again. Kartikeya raced to the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean. He slowed down his swimming because he couldn't see a thing. Wait. What was that? His heart was pumping so fast, he thought he might explode. I am getting really, really nervous, but I also want to know what happens next. I am going to use the fronted adverbial, out of nowhere. Now you might say something like suddenly or without any warning. I would like you to think about your fronted adverbial. Pause your video and write it at the side. Okay, out of nowhere, appeared a creature. Creature. I'm not going to say what it is 'cause I'm going to keep my reader guessing. Out of nowhere, appeared a creature that had enormous teeth. Ah, fantastic. I'm now going to use an exclamation. I'm going to say how big that teeth were. Can you pause your video and think about if you would like to write an exclamation and write it down here? You don't have to, if you don't want to, because you might not think that it fits with your story. Okay, what... I'm going to use a two a sentence. What big sharp teeth it had. Fantastic, and I know when my reader reads my work and sees my exclamation mark, they are going to know that they should be shocked and surprised. Okay, now I'm going to think about Kartikeya's feelings. How is Kartikeya feeling? Can you pause your video now and write down at the side, how your Kartikeya is feeling. Okay, and we are going to change that into the past tense because we are writing in the past tense. I'm going to say Kartikeya, Kartikeya felt as though the sun had, had abandoned abandoned him. He was so deep, he thought the son had abandoned him. I'm going to read my work through again to check I have not missed any words. Kartikeya raced to the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean. He slowed down his swimming because he couldn't see a thing. Wait. What was that? His heart was pumping so fast, he thought he might explode. Just move my paper up. Out of nowhere, appeared a creature that had enormous teeth. What big sharp teeth it had. Kartikeya felt as though the sun had abandoned him. I'm going to write my last sentence now. And I'm going to use a preposition. I am going to write to the left, to the left. I would like you to pause your video now and write down at the side, your preposition that you are going to use to extend your description. Pause your video now. Fantastic, I heard people say under and amongst, okay. To the left. I'm going to say to the left of his shoulder, to the left of his shoulder, he felt. I'm not going to tell my reader exactly what he felt. I'm going to give them a clue. To the left of his shoulder he felt something swishing. And I've used some alliteration. Something swishing. Now it is over to you. You are going to continue to write all about your scene. Number one, your really scary scene. You can include as much as you like from your toolkit. I need to tick some more things off because I just said that he felt something swishing. I wonder what it was. Fantastic everybody. I cannot wait to read your writing. Now that we have written our wonderful spooky scene, we need to be real authors and edit our writing. The first thing I would like you to check is that you have all of your punctuation in the right place. So checks for your full stops, question marks, commas, and capital letters. You might not have used all of those things, but if you have, make sure they are in the right place. Then you need to check that your writing makes sense. You could read your writing out loud to me on the screen because sometimes reading our writing out loud, helps us to find our mistakes. So that would be a really good decision. You then need to check that you are happy with your actions, appearances, thoughts, and feelings to create your mood that moves and impacts your reader. Now, when you read your writing back, you might want to swap some words or add some words or take some words away because you might decide that actually that would help your reader to really imagine the scene. Pause your video now to edit your writing. Wow, I am so blown away by everybody's effort today. And that's just given me an idea. We are going to do some shine that blows us away. So can you get your shine ready and celebrate yourself by giving yourself some blow away shine? You have done an excellent job. I cannot wait for our next writing lesson. I would love to see some of your writing. If you'd like to, please ask your parent, or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and @TeachTMcCartney, #LearnwithOak.

To write a recycled story with a mood that moves (Part 2)

To write a recycled story with a mood that moves (Part 2)

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UnitEnglish / Ganesh Gets Married (2)

English