To write a character description

Key Stage 2

English

Sherlock Holmes - Mixed outcomes

﻿Hi everyone, and welcome to our lesson today. Today, we are going to use all of the amazing vocabulary that we have been mind mapping so far to write our character description. I'm really excited to see what you produce in our lesson. Our learning objective today is to write our character description. This is lesson number 4 of 10, and it's our second writing outcome of this unit. In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or paper with lines on it, a pen or pencil, and your very best learning brain. Pause the video if you need to take a moment to go and get those things. Our agenda for learning today, firstly, we are going to learn about non-finite subordinate clauses. Then we're going to read a model outcome. Then we're going to discuss our success criteria. And finally, we will write our character description. So for our writing warm up, we are going to be exploring non-finite clauses. Let's read this sentence. I'm going to read it first and then you can read it. Raising an eyebrow slightly, John Watson surveyed his frustrated friend. Your turn. Fantastic and well done if you remembered your actions for your comma and your full stop. So this is a non-finite clause. My raising an eyebrow slightly in pink, it's a subordinate clause. It's a type of subordinate clause. And here I've got my main clause. Now, can you have a think again? What is a main clause? Excellent. A main clause is a clause that can make sense on its own. A subordinate clause cannot make sense on its own. So if I were to put a full stop after the word slightly, would my sentence make sense? Raising an eyebrow slightly. Does that make sense? Yes or no? Well done. You're right. It does not make sense. This is a subordinate clause. It does not make sense on its own. Just like we have looked at in previous lessons. Here's a quick equation. My sentence begins with a subordinate clause. It's a non-finite subordinate clause and it ends with my main clause. So what kind of sentence is this? If it has a subordinate and a main clause, have a think, what type of sentence is that? Well done. It's a complex sentence. So the non-finite clause and the main clause must be about the same thing. That's what makes a non-finite clause a little bit different to other subordinate clauses. When I use it in a sentence with a main clause, they've got to have the same subject, which means they need to be about the same thing or the same character. So I would like you to match the non-finite clause to the correct main clause. Remember the clue, they must contain the same subject. So let's read through our non-finite clauses first. Looking up from his paper. Your turn. Great. Drumming his fingers on the windowsill. Your turn. Well done. Puffing furiously on his pipe. Your turn. Excellent. Do you notice anything about all three of those subordinate clauses? Those non-finite subordinate clauses. Have a look at the verbs. Looking, drumming, puffing. What suffix do all of those verbs have? As in, a suffix is a group of letters at the end of the verb. What do they all have in common? Well done. They all end in ING. That's another feature of a non-finite subordinate clause. It contains a verb which ends in the suffix I N G. So often is the first word of the non-finite clause. So looking up from his paper, drumming his fingers on the windowsill and puffing furiously on his pipe. All three of those non-finite clauses begin with a verb, which has an I N G suffix. Now we're going to look at our main clauses. My turn. Sherlock squinted in the early morning sun. Your turn. Excellent. John Watson surveyed his irritated colleague. Your turn. Excellent. And finally, Sherlock briskly marched across the room. Your turn. Excellent. So two of these main clauses are about Sherlock. So A and C are about Sherlock and B is about John Watson. So remember, you've got to match the non-finite clause with the main clause that you think is about the same subject. So now, I would like you to pause the video while you look very carefully at non finite clauses, try and work out which character the non-finite clauses are talking about and match it with the appropriate main clause. Off you go. Okay, everyone. Hopefully we've all had an attempt at matching our non-finite clauses with our main clauses, and now let's reveal our answers. Looking up from his paper, John Watson surveyed his irritated colleague. Okay. So maybe you used what we learned about our characters in our last vocab generating lesson. John Watson is a very intellectual character and he would often be caught reading. So that little clue, looking up from his paper, the person more likely to be reading in the morning would be John Watson. Next one. Drumming his fingers on the windowsill. So who did we describe as drumming their fingers on the windowsill in our previous vocab lesson? It was Sherlock. So let's read the full sentence. Drumming his fingers on the windowsill, Sherlock squinted in the early morning sun. And finally that leaves us with, puffing furiously on his pipe, Sherlock briskly marched across the room. Again, from looking at our images of Sherlock Holmes in a previous vocab lesson, we know that he often had a pipe in his mouth. If we think back to our lessons on complex sentences, we know that when our subordinate clause comes first, we must use a comma to separate it from the main clause. So we've always got to remember to use a comma after our non-finite subordinate clause. Okay, now we're going to read a model outcome. So let's read this through together. I'm going to read it through first. And if you would like to, you can pause the video and reread it yourself. Bored and gazing out of the window, Sherlock Holmes casually flicked through a pile of papers from previous cases. He let out a sigh and surveyed his office, his eyes flickered towards the old gas lamp, and the scruffy, battered armchairs. Upon one of these chairs, his colleague and friend lay fast asleep, snoring. A newspaper lay forgotten upon Dr. John Watson's lap and his feet were propped up on a stack of leather-bound books. So you can pause the video now, if you would like to reread this paragraph yourself. Frustrated, the eccentric detective picked up his violin and began to play it in an attempt to drown out Watson's snoring and the relentless tick tock of his mahogany carriage clock, which sat proudly upon his fireplace. Tick tock, tick tock, Sherlock flung his violin across the room and a cloud of dust erupted as it landed against a worn-out scarlet curtains. Okay, so a couple of new words here perhaps. The word eccentric, meaning different, quite unique and a little bit zany, or strange sometimes. We could describe this detective as eccentric. Now we're going to discuss our success criteria. The skills that we need to showcase in order to produce our very best writing outcome today. We are writing a character description. Here's our success criteria. Number 1, include at least one non-finite complex sentence. Then we're going to use our show- not-tell, which we did an amazing job of mind mapping in our last vocab lesson to give our readers clues about how our characters feel. And finally, we're going to include at least one as or when complex sentence. And also we want to make sure we've got our mind maps from our previous vocab building lesson with us. If you need to pause the video now to go and get your mind map, then do that now. I would like you to pause the video, to write down your success criteria. You will need these to help you produce your best writing. And when you're ready, you can press play. So now everyone, so far, we have learned about non-finite complex sentences. We have read a model outcome to give us an idea of what we might include in our writing today. We've discussed our success criteria. We've gone and gathered together on mind maps and we've written down our success criteria. And now we're going to write our character description. Okay, everyone. So as you can see, I've got my learning space organised and ready to go. I have both of my mind maps from our previous lesson and my success criteria written in front of me. Have a quick check of your learning space. Are you ready to write? If not pause the video now while you get yourself ready. I'm going to begin my first sentence by bringing the characters into the room. So I'm not going to just launch into a character description. Where we left off, we had described the office and we'd created that really sort of calm, tranquil, magical atmosphere. Now I'm going to introduce the characters to my reader and I'm going to make them disturb the peace and quiet a little bit. Hmm. How might I do that? I'm going to think about what signs the characters might have made or what actions they might've made, which may have disturbed the peace and quiet. I think I've got it. I'm going to go with the peace and quiet of the room was disturbed by... Now, what could the characters have done, which caused a disturbance to the peace and quiet? Ah, I know, I'm going to go with was disturbed by heavy, marching footsteps. Who do you think would have been marching around the room with heavy footsteps? Out of John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. Tell me which one. You're right. Okay. Sherlock Holmes. Now, before I move onto my second sentence, I would like you to have a think about what your first sentence is going to be and how you're going to introduce your reader to those characters. Pause the video While you do that. Okay everyone. Hopefully we've all written down our very first sentence, which introduces our reader to the fact that there are characters in the room. Now I finished by suggesting that someone was marching with heavy footsteps around the room. Now I need to tell my reader who that was. So Sherlock Holmes. Okay, I'm going to start by writing about Sherlock Holmes, but I know that one of my criteria is to use an as or when complex sentence. So I'm actually going to write about two things happening in the room at once. I'm going to write about something that Sherlock Holmes did and something that Dr. John Watson did at the same time using a complex sentence. Okay. Let's look at my mind map for some of Sherlock's show-not-tell. Okay. I'm going to go with, he paced the room. Okay. Sherlock Holmes paced around the room. Hmm. I'm going to use a simile ah, like, like a caged lion. Sherlock Holmes paced around the room like a caged lion as his colleague, Dr. John Watson... Hmm. What did he do? Let's look at Dr. John Watson's actions. Oh, I'm going to go with, carefully pored over the journals he was reading. Okay. Dr. John Watson carefully pored over, actually I'm going to go with, his newspaper, his newspaper. Okay. Now, I've written two sentences. And I'm going to think about which success criteria I have already met. So the peace and quiet of the room was disturbed by heavy marching footsteps. So those heavy marching footsteps give away a little bit about the character's emotions. They feel quite irritated. So there's a little bit of show-not-tell there. Sherlock Holmes paced around the room like a caged lion as his colleague, Dr. John Watson carefully pored over his newspaper. Okay, so there is where I've met my success criteria number three, using an as sentence. And I've also got some show-not-tell in that sentence. Using that phrase paced around, using that description, paced around the room, like a caged lion. That gives away that my character is feeling quite frustrated. Now I would like you to think about your complex sentence. You could write a complex sentence using the subordinating conjunctions as or when to describe two things that were happening at the same time. You might also incorporate some show-not-tell into that complex sentence as well. Pause the video while you do that. Okay, everyone. Hopefully we have all now written our complex sentences and you should be so proud of what you've written so far. 'Cause I know that it is excellent. Now our final success criteria that we need to include is using a non-finite complex sentence. So let's think back to the beginning of this lesson, a non finite clause begins with a verb that ends in ING. So I need an ING verb and whoever I describe in the non-finite clause, I must also talk about in the main clause. 'Cause they've got to be about the same thing. So, okay. So I've got, glared out of the window in my Sherlock mind-map, I could change that to glaring. Okay. Glaring out of the window. That's what I'm going to go with. So I'm going to write this whole sentence about Sherlock Holmes. Now glaring out of the window, What punctuation do I need again after my non finite subordinate clause? Oh, thank you. Well done for reminding me. I need a comma. Glaring light of the window, Hmm. Now I could call Sherlock comes by his name again, but I've already referred to him as Sherlock Holmes. So I'm going to try and vary the way I refer to him. I'm going to call him the frustrated detective, the frustrated detective muttered, exasperatedly. I've got to make sure I spell my words correctly. So I've taken the adjective, exasperated and I've turned it into an adverb by adding L Y on the end. So he muttered exasperatedly under his breath. Okay. So I'm going to read my whole sentence through and I would like you to read it with me. Glaring out of the window, the frustrated detective muttered exasperatedly under his breath. So I've got my non-finite clause. I've got my ING verb, glaring. I've got my comma between the two clauses and both of those clauses are about the same character, Sherlock Holmes. Now I would like you to pause the video while you write your complex sentence, which starts with a non-finite clause. Well done everyone. Your non-finite clause complex sentences are excellent. In fact, they are so good that I think we could write another one. This time I'm going to write about the other character, Dr. John Watson. Let's choose a verb for Dr. John Watson. Looking at my mind map. Oh, I can see here, he lounged on his arm chair. No, I've got to change the ed suffix to I N G. So what would the word be? Say it out loud. Excellent. It would be lounging. Okay. So lounging on his arm chair. What do I need after my non finite clause? Excellent. Well done for reminding me. I need a comma, lounging on his arm chair, now, who was lounging on his own chair? Well done. Dr. John Watson. Dr. John Watson, now I'm going to use some show-not-tell. I'm going to go with, he rolled his eyes. So Dr. John Watson rolls his eyes and smiled with amusement. Okay. Now I'm going to read the full sentence again. Lounging on his arm chair, Dr. John Watson rolled his eyes and smiled with amusement. So now I would like you to have a go at writing another non-finite complex sentence. Pause the video while you do that. Okay, everybody. So we have no reached the end of our shared write. I hope you're feeling so proud of what you've achieved so far. We're not quite finished yet though. We need to quickly reread what we've written and check for punctuation, like remembering a capital letter for Dr. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. Capital letters at the start of sentences and full stops. Quick punctuation check. Remember, have you included commas after your non-finite subordinate clauses? Pause the video while you do that. Well done everyone. I'm sure you have just been, I'm sure you are so proud of what you've done so far. Now we're going to look for a number, our success criteria in our writing. So number one, a non-finite complex sentence. I would like you to find one example of where you have written a non-finite complex sentence and write the number 1 beside it. Just like I've done here. And pause the video while you do that, if you need more time. Okay, everyone. Now we're going to move on to number two, show-not-tell. I would like you to find one example of where you have used show-not-tell in your writing. And I want to show you mine. There's my example. He paced around the office like a caged lion. Now you find one example of where you have used show-not-tell and write the number 2 beside it, and pause the video while you do that. Great. And finally, number three, I would like you to find one example of a complex sentence where you've used as or when as your subordinating conjunction. And number that with the number three. Here is mine. So I've put my number three right beside my subordinating conjunction as, and that is for my whole sentence. Pause the video now, while do you look for your complex sentence and number it with the number three. And now everyone that brings us to the end of our lesson today. I have been amazed at the vocabulary and the effort and the perseverance you have shown in your writing today. And I'm sure that's reflected in the incredible writing you've produced as well. Please do. If you would like to share your learning with me at the Oak National Academy on social media. Well done everyone.

To write a character description

To write a character description

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UnitEnglish / Sherlock Holmes - Mixed outcomes

English