To plan the main body of my diary entry

Key Stage 2

English

The Windrush - Diary writing

﻿Hi, everybody and welcome to our lesson today. We have made such an amazing start on our diary entry. Today we're going to be planning the main body. Our learning objective today is to plan the main body of our diary entry. This is lesson number nine of 10. In this lesson, you will need your exercise book or paper, your pen or pencil, and your best learning brain. Make sure to pause the video if you need a moment to get anything. Here's our agenda for today. We're going to revise our knowledge of fronted adverbials. Then we're going to recap the features of a diary entry. Then we're going to recap the vocabulary and paragraph structure of a diary. And finally, we're going to read a model. So let's get started with revising fronted adverbials. Fronted adverbials can either be one word or a group of words you use at the start of a sentence. So there are fronted adverbials are either one word, which we would call an adverb. My turn, adverb, your turn. Good. Or a group of words. An adverbial phrase, your turn. Well done. So an adverb or an adverbial phrase gives the reader more information about the verb. It can either give the reader more information about the time or the what's the next one? Say it out loud again. Time or the place, which is the where. Or the final one, the manner. Well done, which is the home. So an adverb or an adverbial phrase gives the reader more information about the time, the place, or the manner in which something happened. So now we've got a little quiz. During breakfast, I've got a fronted adverbial. During breakfast, comma. I would like you to choose whether this fronted adverbial is one of time, place, or manner. You've got five, four, three, two, one, well done. It's a fronted adverbial of time. It tells us when something happened. Alone in my room. Time, place, or manner? Pause the video if you need, but I'm going to count you down. From five, four, three, two, one, place. Where was I? I was in my room. Well done. Throughout the day. Time, place, or manner? Remember, you can always pause the video if you need more time. Five, four, three, two, one. This is another fronted adverbial of time. Very good. And finally, with flushed cheeks. Time, place, or manner? You've got five, four, three, two, one. This is a fronted adverbial of manner. How did somebody do something? They did it with flushed cheeks. Now we're going to recap the features of a diary entry. So we probably got really, really good at this by now because we've done it in every single lesson so far. Grab your piece of paper and mind map the features of a diary entry and pause the video while you do that. Okay, everyone. So we've all started with dear diary and hopefully you filled your mind map with all of the features of the diary entry. Let's go through them again together. Chronological order. It means? Exactly. Putting things in time order. We use fronted adverbials of time to order the events and we often write in the past tense because for the most of the diary entry, we are recapping events that have already happened that day. Tell? So we explicitly write about our feelings and we also might use a little bit of show not tell, where we write about actions which giveaway how we think. We'd write in the first person. I, me, we, and us. They're all examples of? Can you complete my sentence? They are all examples of? Fantastic. Pronouns that show that I am writing in the first person, because I am the only person who writes in my diary and it has an informal tone, so I would expect to see some sentences which have been punctuated with exclamation marks and some contracted words. Now we're going to recap our vocabulary learned so far and how we can structure our writing. Here is our model, right? That we looked at in our last lesson. I'm going to read it through first and then you can read it through yourself. This diary entry, can you tell me when it was written? Very good. The 23rd of May, 1948. "Dear Diary, I am still in shock. Today has been one of the worst days of my life. My father has told me the devastating news that we must move to England. Questions are racing through my mind at a million miles an hour. Why now? Why us? Why me? I feel sick just thinking about it. As I sit here scribbling down my thoughts, my hands shake in anger." You can see here where I've highlighted in colour, where I've met my success criteria. So I have my blue exclamation mark. I've got my green sentence, which uses a call on to introduce a list. This time I use it to introduce a list of questions. And I've got my pink words where I do some tell. I feel sick. And some show not tell. My hands shake in anger. Here's a little recap of some of that amazing vocabulary that we've already learned so far in this unit. Now you probably haven't used all of your emotions vocabulary just in your opening. If you have, don't worry about it because we can always come up with lots of more synonyms to talk about our feelings, but you may have some words in your mind map which you haven't used just yet. And perhaps in our planning today, you will plan to use those words. So here are our negative words. Now I know that my character experienced very, very negative emotions by reading that model. Now how does your character feel about migrating to England on the "Windrush?" But just to give you a clue, I think it might be helpful for you to imagine that you were in that situation and think about how you would react in that situation. Might make it easier for you to think about the types of thoughts or feelings you would have had. Make sure you have your show not tell word banks as well. Now we need to order the events of the day using fronted adverbials of time and place. So we write in chronological order. We put things in the order in which they happened because we are recounting the day in the order that it happened in. So to do that, we need to use, we need to open some of our sentences with fronted adverbials of time saying when things happened and place, saying where things happened. First of all, at breakfast time. At school, at home, and present time, writing in the diary. I would like you to pause the video to write a fronted adverbial of time or place to each point on the timeline. Now you could write a few fronted adverbials. You might write one fronted adverbial of time. You might write one fronted adverbial of place for each one. So you need to pause the video and draw your timeline and then list maybe one or two or maybe even three fronted adverbials for each point on the timeline, which you would use in your diary to help structure and sequence your events in order. And when you're ready, you can press play. Okay, everyone. Hopefully you have got a timeline written on your page. Now we are going to share some examples of fronted adverbials of time or place that you could have used. We need to order the events of the day using fronted adverbials of time and or place. Here are some examples. During breakfast or in the kitchen. All of my blue fronted adverbials are fronted adverbials of time and all of my pink fronted adverbials are fronted adverbials of place. Let's go through them together. During breakfast is a fronted adverbial of time or in the kitchen is a fronted adverbial of place. Both of those would work for that time of day. Next we've got the school. All day a fronted adverbial of time. But then I have two fronted adverbials of place at school or on our way to school. Then coming home in the evening. This evening or after school are fronted adverbials of time or at home could be used as a fronted adverbial of place. And finally, to show in the present happening right now, I might have right now or now to tell my reader that right now I am currently writing or in my room to tell my reader where I'm writing in my diary. So these are just some of my ideas for fronted adverbials of time and place that you could have used on your timeline. If there are any there that you would like to magpie, then do that now. Pause the video while you do you do that. Okay, so now we are going to read a model everybody. I'm going to read it first and you can pause the video if you would like to go back and read it yourself. "I suppose I should go back to the beginning. During breakfast, mum was acting weird. Usually she whistles while she cooks us ackee and saltfish and asks us questions about our day. But today we ate and prepared for school in an ominous silence. At school, an impending sense of doom descended over me throughout the day. I knew something was wrong. So there's my fronted adverbial of time. During breakfast. There's one of place at school. So you can see how I'm using these to let my reader know when or where things happened. When I returned home, shivers ran down my spine and I immediately knew my life was about to be turned upside down. Without pausing, Dad started rambling on about England and the empire and something about wind while mum's eyes began to brim with tears and her lip quivered. Bang, then it hit me. He was telling me we are moving to England, the motherland. My heart sank. I felt like I had just received a blow to the stomach. I couldn't think. I couldn't speak." When I returned home. Again, I'm telling my reader when something happened, when those shivers ran down my spine. This is a fronted adverbial of manner without pausing. Now, this isn't really used to sequence things but it helps my reader to understand how dad was rambling. So without pausing, you just began rambling on about England and the empire and something about wind. And then I've got another fronted adverbial. This is just an adverb now. Then it hit me. So now I would like you to pause the video while you draw out a plan just like the one you can see on the screen. Now down the left hand side, we have got adverbials of time or place. So I've got those little images to help you and it might be helpful for you to draw yourself a little image for each point in the day. So a little image of breakfast, school, home, and then writing in the diary at the end of the day. In that column, you're also going to write an adverbial of time or a place. You might only want to use one or maximum two for each section. So I would like you to pause the video while you add a fronted adverbial of time or place to each section of your plan. When you've added your fronted adverbials, press play before you move on to adding any events to your plan. Okay, everyone. Hopefully we've all paused the video. We've now got a plan which is filled with fronted adverbials of time or place that you are going to use in your diary. Here are some of my examples. So I only chose one for each section. During breakfast, or at school, at home, or now. If you would like to, you could magpie any of my ideas, but if you have got a fronted adverbial in each section of either time or place, then you are ready. Now I would like you to pause the video while you write down what happened. So your thoughts, or feelings, or show not tell. I'm going to reveal my first answer to you just to get you started. During breakfast, what happened during breakfast? Mum was unusually quiet but my younger sister didn't seem to notice that. So that's what happened to me during breakfast in my diary. Now I would like you to have a think about what was happening during breakfast for your character. Remember, you can always use some modelled writing as well to help you. The model that we just looked at. So pause the video now while you fill in the events that happened at those different times or places in the day. Okay, everyone. Well done for filling in your plans and writing just a couple of bullet points for each point in the day. Now I am going to reveal what I wrote down in my plan. So at school I couldn't shake the feeling that something big was about to happen. I struggled to concentrate in my lessons. So I've written bullet points 'cause I'm only writing down in note form. I don't need to write full sentences. I'm just jotting down my ideas. You can always magpie ideas from me but also make sure to use your own ideas as well, because this is your piece of writing. Now at home, Dad excitedly told us the news. His eyes sparkled as he did it. We are migrating to England, the motherland. I was speechless. My jaw dropped in shock. So I've written I was speechless. That's an emotion. But I've also done some show not tell with my jaw dropped in shock. Remember to use some of that vocabulary from those mind maps we came up with in our previous lessons. Now I'm writing in the present tense. So questions are racing through my mind. Here I'm using my call on to introduce some questions. What will I tell my friends at school tomorrow? What will school in England be like? How long will the journey take? And here, because I'm writing right now, I can write in the present tense. Whereas for all of the other parts of the plan, I'd be writing in the past tense because I'm retelling what happened earlier today. So if you would like to pause the video now, you can magpie anything from me that you would like. But use it to enhance what you've already got. That now brings us to the end of our lesson. So you should leave this lesson today with a really high quality plan that's full of fronted adverbials and things that happened, and your emotions and show not tell which giveaway how you reacted to those events. Well done for all of your hard work. This planning is going to be so helpful for us when we come to writing in our next writing lesson. Well done, everybody.

To plan the main body of my diary entry

To plan the main body of my diary entry

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UnitEnglish / The Windrush - Diary writing

English