To plan the climax

Key Stage 2

English

Aladdin - Narrative Writing

﻿Hello again, I'm miss Waddell. We are now onto our climax. So we are going to be planning our climax in this lesson for our Alladin unit. It's all getting much more exciting, let's go. Okay, let's look at what the lesson will look like. What we will be doing. We're going to warm up, then we're going to think about what the point of a climax is, what the purpose is. Then we're going to retell the climax and then we're going to describe what happens and practise writing the action. So for this lesson you will need, your exercise book or some paper, a pencil, and your brain switched on. If you haven't got those, pause the video now and just go and get them and pop yourself somewhere where you can be as distraction free. Off you go, pause the video. Okay, now, ready for our warmups. Kind of warm up our brains, warm up our bodies a little bit. Hopefully you're getting some exercise. Let's go. I need you to be the teacher. I've written something and I'm quite pleased with it, but I'm happy for you to give me some feedback, because I always would like to get better in whatever way I can. So would you just have a read? And first of all, tell me what I've done really, really well or what I've done quite well. What you think is quite good. Pause the video, read it and then be ready to tell me what I've done well. Okay, tell me some of the good things that I've done because I need a little confidence boost. Okay, first thing, tell me now. Yeah, I've started my sentence with an adverb. That's yeah. That's okay. Thanks. Thanks for that. What else? Well, another adverb at the beginning or adverbial phrase all of a sudden, yeah. I was trying with those, anything else And nice precise way of saying some things so 'shot to life' yeah, anything else? Oh yeah,. I've got a compound sentence using 'but', thanks for that feeling a little bit better about myself. Okay, so those are all the good things. Now, could you tell me some of the things I could do a little better? Did you spot any, if you hadn't spotted any, have a look now pause the video and have a really good look at what I've written off you go. Okay. Can you tell me what you've spotted in three, two, one. I would like you to say it in a really kind voice so that you don't have my feelings ready? Ready, steady go. Okay, yep. That's a few things. Should we go through them? Let's see, first thing, yeah. I forgot my commas after my fronted adverbials, So 'carefully' needed a comma, thank you for that. And 'all of a sudden' needed a comma as well, good spot. And also in my compound sentence, so before my subordinating conjunction, 'but' I needed a comma as well, good spot. Well done, okay. Let's see what else, just whisper to me. Three, two, one. Yeah, yeah. That's a key one. I need to check my capital letters than full stops. Always important, so, first one, Let's see, could you just tell me where they are? Was there any missing? I've got a capital letter at the beginning 'Carefully'. 'Carefully Jafar moved the two pieces together', full stop. Oh, okay. Yeah. There are a few 'Jafar' needs, a capital letter. It's a name, 'All of a sudden', definitely at the beginning of that sentence. Oh, I had a crazy capital letter in the middle of 'shot'. Okay. Good spot and 'Jafar' again. And yeah, I forgot one right at the end. So I read it didn't even know that they were allowed to stop reading because there was no full stop at the end. Okay. What else? Okay, look carefully. Can you see any, maybe, spelling mistakes? I've just seen some, can you spot them? Can you put your finger on one? Yes. Okay. So: 'two' is not 'tow'. It's two, two. It's a weird spelling. It's just one you got to learn. 'Pieces' E ease is so I've got the good Eee sound, but it's not that spelling. You're right. It's I E and watched what's missing from my watch. Yeah, I'm missing a T in there. So good spot, thank you for your help. I really appreciate it, anything else? I hope not. But that was very nice constructive feedback. So thanks for your help there. Now we need to think about the purpose of the climax. So what is the point of the climax? Why is it there and what's it need to do to us? So here it is on our climax. It's the top one up there. So what does that suggest? We did our opening. We did our build up and then we are on our climax. Why is it right at the top there? What does it need to be? Pause and have a think. Okay. The first thing is it needs to confront the main problem. So we need to come head on with the problem that we set up in the buildup. So what will happen with that? There's lots of fast action usually, or lots of things working out and things slotting into place, and it needs to definitely be boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Very exciting. And make you want to read on when it's the bit where you're reading and someone's talking to you and you can't even look at them, because you just need to know what the next word is. That's what you need to make your writing do. So let's watch the clip and then we will prepare some things for when we write the climax. Okay, now we're going to retail the climax. So just so that we're really familiar with what action happens and when, so did our climax, first of all, confront the main problem. Yeah. It's a funny one, but Jafar did chase off after the bug, which had just come to life, which is kind of the main problem, because it's the weird thing that happened in the buildup. Is there lots of fast action? Yeah. And is it very exciting? And does it make us want to read or watch on? I know when I watched this clip, I just said, Oh, I just want to watch the rest of the movie, but I'm not letting you yet. I'm afraid. Okay. So I want you to reorder these pictures so that you're really clear what happens in the story. Pause now and put these letters in these pictures, in the right order off you go here they are. Here they are, Did you get it right? C, A, E, B, D. So I would like you to pause now again and just retell what's happening, just say it, your hand or piece of fruit or your pan or someone in the room. If they're listening or not off you go, okay. Now I want you to listen to me retelling it. So first of all, the, the bug comes to life and it zips off. And then Jafar's horse rears up and he gallops after you can see our house is really galloping after, and then the scarab beetle splits and goes into the sand into another sand dune, and then it starts to erupt. Okay, and that's where we're going to stop with our writing and our preparation. So now I want to describe and practise to write practise writing some of this action Here, I've got a sentence and I think that we can make it a little bit better to help our read a really picture of what's going on. I said, then the ball of fire shot into the darkness. Can you replace that with an fronted adverbial or an adverb to make that more precise, more interesting than 'them' pause now, and just write down two ideas under that. Okay. Now, can you tell them to me three, just tell me one, actually three, two, one go. Great ideas. Okay. Let's see if yours is one of these. Maybe it's an even better one probably, but here are some that I came up with at that moment. So it wasn't in a moment or later that moment it was at that moment. It's a fast time connective or, or time conjunction or fronted adverbial or whatever you call them at the beginning. 'Instantly', great. And 'that second', so it was just right away. So could you write down one more of those to add to the ones that you had done? The one that you liked best off you go pause and write down. Okay, so using fronted adverbial that you did, or one of the ones that I did, if you liked it more, could you write a sentence about that zipping off using that adverb pause now and write your sentence. Okay, well done for that. Here's one that I did 'at that moment', comma 'the ball of fire shot into the darkness'. So I bet yours was really, really good. I just wanted to show you an example of what it could have been. So just double check that yours has the comma after your fronted adverbial there, or if it's just one adverb after the first word, pause and do that now. Okay, here's some more action. The scared horse reared up and they ran rapidly after it. So I want to replace that adjective because I don't think it's as precise as it could be the scared horse. What's a word you could say for like really scared or when you suddenly get up, what words could you use. I want you to write down two that could, might be more precise than scared. Pause and write down now. Okay, you're working really, really hard. Well done, let's see what you came up with. Maybe you could just shout out one, Three, two, one great ideas, yeah. Some of those are the same as these ones. Let's put them on. This is a target and in the middle of the target, I call this a zone of relevance. So how relevant is the word? How precise, how close to what we want it to say? Is it, so say your word for me and see if it comes up and see where, how close to the bullseye it gets? Okay, ready? Say it now. Worried. Yeah, that's quite it's on there, but it's quite far out the worried horse. Cause worrying usually is kind of something that goes on in your mind. That's more of a thinking thing, a next one. Anxious, yeah. Also it's kind of something that you're mulling over. If you're anxious, it's less quit it. We need something quicker than that. Petrified. Yeah. That's another way of saying really scared, petrified, petrified horse reared up, yeah. That could work, that's a bit closer to the bullseye. Shocked the shocked horse up, yep. That works as well or the startled horse. So that's a way of say sort of scared or shocked from something happening in startled is quite often the word we use for animals. So that's a bit closer to the bullseye, but I'd say shocked, petrified or startled would work really well. So just make a note of any of those. If you thought they were good, maybe write down two of your favourites, off you go pause the video. Okay, now I want to replace this verb:'Ran' the scared horse reared up and they ran rapidly after that gives me an idea that they could just do running like this, but it's more than that. Isn't it? It's more intense and they're on a horse as well. So see what you could come up with. See if you can come up with two synonyms for ran in this situation, pause now. Okay, let's put these on the targets too. So say one in three, two, one trotted, not trotting. Trotting is what a horse does. That's right, but it's very slow to do trotting. I think that's a bit far out on our target. Let's try another one. Walked? Are you joking? They definitely don't walk. Let's try another one. Galloped. That's more like it. They definitely Gallop, galloping is when a horse goes very fast. Gallop, Gallop, they galloped. Hurtled? I like that one, hurdled means going really fast as well. So you might have to link to a glass window and bang. Hopefully not, but that would, that would be handling going fast, anymore? shot, like out of a gun. That's definitely fast and sprinted. Yeah, so sprinting running really fast. Like Usain Bolt did before he became a footballer. So let's see any of that. I'd say short tattled, sprinted, galloped. Those are all pretty good. Choose two that you like and write them down. Pause the tape. Okay. So now I want you to improve this sentence with some of the new adjective and verb that we just came up with. So I want you to write the full sentence with your replacement of an adjective for scared or a verb, and rather a verb for ran, pause now and do it, just check that it's right, okay, so. This was the one that I did: the startled horse reared up and they galloped rapidly after it. I bet yours is better. Cause there were some much better words on our target or no zone of relevance. So you've got really good one in your notes for when we come to write, write it down. If you think this is better, I think yours is probably better. But if you didn't quite get to full sentence down, pop this one down now, pause and pop it down. Okay, here's some more action. As the bug zipped around the sand Jafar stared in wander. It's a nice complex sentence there with our subordinating conjunction at the beginning. So let's find a way a different word for, or 'the bug'. because we might need to say it a few times in our writing. So it's good to have them up our sleeve short sleeve so that we can use it when we need to. So pause now and write down some other ways you could say the bug. Okay, tell me. Great, yeah. Some the same, the magical creature. I liked that one. The shining insect also good, cloud of sparks, yeah. I had not thought of that. That's a really good one or the fiery ball. Sorry that fiery, that's a bit funny, isn't it? But that is the correct spelling. Okay, note down any that you really like, maybe just put two and then so pause, write down to you like, and then press play again. Okay, so now I want to change this one. The ground began to move, move. It's not an adjective there, so I don't know why it's in pink. It's a verb, so it should be in green. Cause my verbs are green at the moment. So what would you replace the verb that with Mo what would you replace move with? What's happening to the ground? Pause and write down two. Okay, let's see what they could be. We're going to put them on the target again, tell them, tell me them Jiggle, you joking? The ground began to jiggle, It's not jelly it's scary. The word jiggle just makes you think of giggle and that's funnier, okay. Let's try another one. Wobble again like jelly, or sort of fat or something. No, let's not have wobble in there. Shake, getting that bit better. Tremor, nice. that's like another word for shake or vibrate, yeah, it could do quite scientific. Pause and write down any of those that you like. Don't put jiggle or wobble. They are not the ones for this. Okay, so now we're going to change this adverb Jafar's heart beats strongly. And I want that kind of buboom, buboom, buboom, buboom. How would you describe that? Strongly would be okay But I think we can do better. Cause we're working super hard. I can just feel your brains whirring. And I know that you can improve this work for me. So Jafar's heart beats strongly as a monstrous beast rose from the desert. What would we replace it with? Have a think pause and then tell me. Really hard? Yeah, that's okay. Good that you've given it a go, really hard quickly, Jafar's heartbeat quickly. Yeah, I think we can get stronger than that though. Let's have something a bit stronger. Manically, dadum, dadum, dadum, dadum, like, like super fast and busy. Yeah, that works Violently, yeah. We know what violence is and they feel violence like really strong. Are there any more if you've got any more? Okay, so pause and write down If you think any of those are good. Maybe put down two and definitely not really hard because it's right on the outside of our target. Okay, now I want you to write two style sentences. The first one I want it to be about the ground. And the second one I wanted to be about Jafar's heart. I want you to use the adverbs, verbs, adjectives, and nouns that we came up with. I want you to write a full sentence, two full sentences in your book or on your paper using all the brilliant vocabulary that you have just summoned up, okay, off you go. So here I've read, written my sentence to fast heartbeat wildly as a monstrous beast, erupted menacingly from the dark sand. I'm quite pleased with it, what do you think? Will you show me yours? Oh yeah, yours were better than mine. Okay, so will you help me with this one then? Because I think that there's some mistakes or a mistake. Can you spot it, something to do with a complex sentence? Yup, there it is, okay. Jafar's heart beat wildly. So let's look at the good things first. I've got my capital letter. I've got a nice adverb that I've got some nice, Let's just go back, I've got nice adjective. I've got another nice adverb, menacingly, but here it is, I've got my comma in the wrong place in my complex sentence. It shouldn't even be there because that is the beginning of my subordinate clause. And I only put a comma when the subordinate clause is at the beginning of my sentence, which isn't that direction that way. So there it is. And if you have done the same, could you please stop, pause and edit to make sure that you only have a comma, if you put your 'as' at the beginning of the sentence. What brilliant preparation you've done for your writing? Really well done, you've worked really hard and you've got lots of stuff for when we come to write, which will be on next lesson together. Give yourself a Pat on the back. Well done.

To plan the climax

To plan the climax

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UnitEnglish / Aladdin - Narrative Writing

English