To plan and write the first part of a narrative scene

Key Stage 2

English

Oliver - Narrative writing

﻿Hello. Miss Vincent here with your English lesson today. So today we're going to be writing a section of the narrative of Oliver Twist. We're going to be writing where Oliver and Dodger are walking along the alleyway on the way to Fagin's house. We're going to get to describe some rats scurrying along. We're going to get to describe the disgusting squelchy mud, so lots of description today. So we're going to watch the clip. We're going to think of planning in some key vocabulary, and then we're going to move on to our writing. So let's get started with our lesson to write this section of narrative. Here is our agenda for today's lesson. So we're going to start off by watching the clip of the section of the film that we will be writing today. Then we're going to have a go at retelling what we've seen, and then finally, we're going to move on to our writing. So in this lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper. You'll need a pencil or a pen, and you will need your amazing creative brain ready to focus, to pay attention to the details of everything happening in the film, and then to do your best writing. So if there's anything that you need to go and get for this lesson, then please pause the video to do that and press play when you're ready to move on with the lesson. Okay, fantastic. Let's start today's lesson. So in a moment, we're going to be watching the clip. This isn't a new piece of the film, so if you've completed some of the previous lessons in this outcome, you will already have watched the scene where Oliver and Dodger walk along the alleyway up towards Fagin's house, and then they go in to meet him. So in today's lesson, we're concentrating on planning and writing the section where they walk along the alleyway and then where they walk up the stairs all the way to the door to Fagin's house. So when we're watching today, I want you to look really, really carefully and make notes of what you can see so that later you can add descriptive detail to your writing. So for example, if we're looking at the second picture on the screen, if we were watching that section of the film, I might write down some notes about describing the stairs. So I might write the rickety, wooden steps, or I might write some verbs and adverbs to show Oliver following. So I might write Oliver followed closely, verb and adverb, behind Dodger. So making notes of what you're seeing as you're watching. So look out for lots of detail while you're watching. Remember as always, you can skip back and watch the clip a few times so that you can feel really confident when we come to sharing ideas and then to writing that you really know this section of the narrative. So let's watch. Fantastic. I hope you enjoyed re-watching that section of the narrative. Perhaps you watched it a couple of times to think about all the details that you could see. So now I'm going to share with you some of the things that I spotted while I was re-watching the clip. I saw that Dodger tugged stunned Oliver into a side alley, and stunned means that he was surprised. And he's looking around, and we can see it in that picture, can't we, that he's looking around. And as he's doing that, Dodger pulls him in. He tugs him into the side alley. I saw the filthy ground. That means it was really, really dirty. I saw rats that scurried over their feet. And I saw Oliver's bare feet on the putrid mud. My turn, your turn, putrid. One more time, putrid. And on the screen, you can see the Mrs. Wordsmith picture for the word putrid. Putrid means rotten and decayed like an old and mouldy sandwich might be putrid, and the ground, we can describe it as being putrid as well. And sometimes if it's putrid, in fact, often if it's putrid, it's also quite smelly. Then in the next scene, I also saw some men who brawled behind the boys. Brawled is a verb that means to fight. And then I also saw that Oliver looked back in shock. And then right before they went into the steps and they went up, I saw that Oliver was shoved forcefully. And I saw that he leaned back to escape the man, and I saw that he was speechless and he stared wide-eyed. And then perhaps you also spotted some vocabulary to describe the steps, to describe the rickety old steps or the wooden splintered bannister, or perhaps you heard the loud shouts coming from inside the other doors on the way up on the steps. So really well done if you spotted anything while you were watching that section of the film. So now let's have a go at retelling the narrative. So out loud, saying what we watched in the film and retelling the story, adding in as much detail as possible. So I've put on the screen five pictures that will help jog your memory of the smaller events that happen within this section of the story. So I'd like you to retell the story all the way from when Dodger tugs Oliver into the side alley all the way until they get to the top of the steps and Dodger whistles to be let in. Remember to add lots of descriptions and lots of adjectives to describe what you can see and lots of precise verbs and adverbs to describe the action 'cause there's lots of action happening in the alleyway. And we can also perhaps think about some show not tell to describe how Oliver might be feeling. Everything around him is so unfamiliar to him. He's not seen it before. So he is probably feeling a little bit worried, and he doesn't know where he's going. So he's probably feeling a little bit worried and anxious about that as well. So I'd like you to pause the video now to retell this section of the story out loud, and then press play when you've finished. Remember if you get stuck, that's totally fine. Just look at the pictures, try and remember what point you're up to, and think of what happens next and think of the next sentence. So pause to retell, and press play when you're ready. Fantastic. Well done for retelling the story in your own words. I hope that the pictures really helped when you were thinking about what happened. So now we're going to move on to our writing. We're going to do a little bit of my turn, your turn, and I'm not going to type today. I'm going to show you an example, and then you can move on to writing your section. And then I'll show you another example for the next bit, and then you can write yours. So that's how it's going to work today. So let's think about what is going to make us really successful in our writing today. And the first thing that's going to help us be successful is to think about our skills that we need to use all the time. So we need to be making sure that we're checking, that we've got our capital letter at the start of our sentence, and we've got our full stop or our relevant piece of punctuation. It might be a question, in which case it needs a question mark, or it might be showing strong emotion, in which case it might need an exclamation mark. But always checking that each sentence starts with a capital letter and finishes with the relevant piece of punctuation, making sure that we are thinking of our sentences first, then we write them down. And then we absolutely read them to check that what we've written down actually makes sense and that it's actually what we wanted it to say. And then finally, of course, we're always looking at our finished product, reading it through regularly to see how we can edit and improve. So today's success criteria are as follows. I have described the setting and the characters using ENPs. So we're going to work really hard to include lots of precise description using adjective, adjective noun, or just lots of adjectives to describe what we can see and make sure that the picture in our reader's mind, always thinking about the picture in our reader's mind, is really precise. We're going to use verbs and adverbs to describe the action that is happening. We're going to use show not tell perhaps to show the characters' emotions. And then finally, we're going to challenge ourselves to use a range of sentence types. Now that we know what our success criteria are, so that we can be sure of what we need to include, we're going to move onto our writing. As I mentioned earlier, we're going to use a little bit of my turn, your turn. So my turn first for this first section of the writing. I've got a model here, an example here, which tells the story of these three pictures that you can see on the left hand side. And it describes Oliver and Dodger walking along the alleyway. So I'm going to read it through all in one go from start to finish, and then we can analyse each bit one at a time thinking about how I've included the success criteria and why I've chosen particular words. So first time through, just listening carefully and following with your eyes or with your finger to make sure that you're following the story as it unfolds. Dodger hastily tugged Oliver into a side alley. Oliver's feet squelched as they walked over the putrid mud and filthy rats scurried over the boys' feet. With every step, Oliver's eyes widened. Behind them, a group of men were starting a brawl as Dodger continued to lead Oliver forward. So this is my first section. So let's have a look at what I've included and why I've included it. So let's have a look at our first sentence. Dodger hastily tugged Oliver into a side alley. So I've included precise verb and adverb choices to show that Dodger is pulling Oliver because Oliver is completely shocked and stunned by what he's seeing. Oliver's feet squelched. So I've chosen a verb that makes a sound. So I've chosen something to really show that the ground is wet and horrible. So Oliver's feet squelched as they walked over the putrid mud. So that's a subordinate clause using as to show two things happening at the same time. So the feet squelch as they walk through the putrid mud, and then I've extended that further with and filthy rats, an adjective and noun, putrid mud. And that's that Mrs. Wordsmith word. And then I've extended that even further with and filthy rats scurried over the boy's feet. Now thinking about the boys feet, why have I put the apostrophe after the S? I'd like you to think about that. Why have I put the apostrophe after the S and not before the S? Hmm. I've done that because it's not just one boy, it's two boys. So the word already has an S. So when the word already has an S and it's apostrophe for plural possession, plural means more than one, the two boys' feet, you put the apostrophe after the S. In addition, I've described them as filthy rats. So I've chosen an adjective for the rats, And I've chosen a precise verb because they scurried over the boys' feet. So with every step, Oliver's eyes widened. That's some show not tell to show the reader that he's really shocked at what's going on. So behind them, a group of men were starting a brawl as Dodger continued to lead Oliver forward. So another complex sentence using as to show two things happening at the same time. And then we've got some precise verb choices. So Dodger continued to lead Oliver forward. So our reader really needs to picture that Dodger, at this point, is pretty much dragging Oliver along because he's so stunned by everything that he's stopping to look at everything. Okay. So it's your turn now to write your sentences describing the alleyway and everything that the boys saw. You've got some pictures at the bottom to remind you of some of the sections, and you've got your skills for success and your success criteria on the screen as well. So pause the video to write your sentences, and then press play when you're ready to move on. Great. Okay. Hopefully you've written your sentences and you're ready for the next stage. So really well done for getting those sentences down. So now we're describing the boys climbing up the stairs to the front door. Our success criteria are the same. So we're thinking about description with adjectives, verbs, and adverbs, and we're also thinking about some show not tell to show how they're feeling and a range of sentence types. So I'm going to read what the model through, the example through, in one go, and then we'll think about each section bit by bit. So listening carefully to take it in the first time. Finally, the boys had reached the house. Dodger climbed the steps at pace with Oliver following closely behind him. He could hear shouting coming from behind the walls and the knot in his stomach got tighter with each step. Looking up, he noticed Dodger was knocking on a door. And he whistled in the film, but I've put knocking in my writing. Remember, we can slightly change some details when we're retelling to make it fit of how we want to tell it. So let's think about each sentence, one at a time, thinking about what we've included. So I started off with an adverb, but it's a time conjunction as well, showing us when. It's finally they get to the steps after all of that excitement in the alleyway. So finally, the boys had reached the house. So reached, a precise verb choice. Dodger climbed, another verb, the steps at pace. At pace shows me that he's doing it really quickly. If you do something in a pacey way or at pace, it means you're keeping the pace going. With Oliver following closely behind him. So he's following closely, verb and adverb. He could hear shouting coming from behind the walls, and the knot in his stomach got tighter with each step. So that's a compound sentence. I've used and to join two main clauses. So each of those parts makes sense on their own. He could hear shouting from behind the walls. I could put a full stop there 'cause it makes sense on his own. And the knot in his stomach got tighter with each step also makes sense when it's on its own, but I could join those two main clauses together with an and to show a compound sentence and to give more detail. And also the knot in his stomach got tighter with each step. That's an example of show not tell. If you feel like you have a knot in your stomach, it means your stomach feels a little bit strange. And what emotion do you think you might be feeling if you have a knot in your stomach? You might be feeling a little bit nervous. Sometimes it's butterflies. If it's excitement, people describe it as butterflies, and a knot in the stomach is a bit more perhaps to do with feeling nervous or feeling scared. Looking up, he noticed Dodger was knocking on a door. And remember when we start the sentence with an I N G verb, so looking, we are using what's called a non-finite starter to show what's happening as the sentence starts. So looking up, he noticed Dodger was knocking on a door, so precise verb choices. So it's your turn now to write your sentences of the boys climbing up the stairs, perhaps including some show not tell, to show Oliver's emotions and using a range of sentence types, including some description. So pause the video to write your sentences, and press play when you're ready to move on. Fantastic job. Well done. So we've written this first part of this section of narrative today. You've done a really good job. What I'd like you to do now is to read your whole piece of writing, those two sections that you wrote separately. I'd like you to read them all through in one go, right from the start in the alleyway all the way until Dodger is knocking on the door. So pause the video to read your writing out loud so you can spot anything perhaps that you need to change, so that you can think about if you've missed any punctuation, but also so that you can enjoy your writing and think really carefully about how your reader feels when they read your writing. So pause the video to read your writing out loud. Off you go. Great. I hope you enjoyed reading through your writing. We have completed all of the sections of today's lesson. So really well done for all of your hard work. If you'd like to, please share what you have learnt with your parent or carer. So we'll be back in lesson eight to write the second half of this section of narrative, where Oliver goes inside the house to meet Fagin. So I really look forward to that. Thank you so much for joining me today. And I will see you soon for more learning on Oliver Twist. Bye.

To plan and write the first part of a narrative scene

To plan and write the first part of a narrative scene

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UnitEnglish / Oliver - Narrative writing

English