To edit a biography

Key Stage 2

English

Inspirational figures - Biographical writing

﻿Hi, everyone. It's Miss van Vliet here, and nice to see you today. It is lesson 10 of 10. That means it's the last lesson in this unit on biography writing. And I'm so excited that you stuck with me throughout this unit, and that you are finishing this unit today. Absolutely, well done. I hope that you enjoyed learning a little bit about Harriet Tubman. I've really enjoyed teaching you this writing unit. So today's lesson is all about editing our writing, and we're going to make sure that we are making our writing the best that it can be. This is one of the lessons that I love teaching when I normally teach in the classroom, not on the screen, but in the classroom, and I think it's really powerful because you can really see your writing going from good to really great. So let's get editing. Are you ready? Let's do it. So our learning objective for today is to edit a biography on Harriet Tubman. So our agenda is as follows. We're going to do a writing warm up. Then, we're going to think a little bit about the purpose of editing, so why do we need to do it? Then, we're going to practise some editing together. And then, your independent task is to edit your own writing. In this lesson, you will need your exercise book and some paper, a pen and a pencil. And you might like to find a pen that's a different colour. It's quite nice to edit in a different colour 'cause it helps you to see where you're making changes. So you might want to find a pink, or a purple, or a red, or a blue pen, depending on what you wrote with. And then, what's really important is that you have your writing from the two previous writing lessons. So we did two lessons on writing, and we have our whole biography written, so you need to make sure that you have those in front of you so that we can edit that. So if you need to pause the video to get those things now, do that please. So you should now have everything ready in front of you. Let's do our writing warm up. So we're going to do a spelling warm up. So, is it helpt or is it helped? Hmm. What do you know about verbs in the past tense? What do we normally add to make a verb in the past tense? Have a look. Which one do you think? And point to it in three, two, one. Of course, it's helped. It's the E-D. E-D in the past. My turn, E-D in the past. Well done. Okay, the next word, plantation, plantashun. Oh, I've changed the suffix to the T-I-O-N and the S-H-U-N. Hmm. Which one do you think it is? Can you point to the one that you think on the screen? And do that in three, two, one. Well done, it's plantation. It's T-I-O-N. It's the most common suffix used. Activeest, activist. Sound it out. Activist. What sound do you hear? Hmm. If I look at the first one, activeest, ee sound. Activist. Use your phonics can help you, even at this age. So which one is it? Point to it on the screen. And do that in three, two, one. Yes, it's activist. I find this quite a tricky word to spell. I get it wrong. Okay, is it which or is it wich? Which which do we use? Hmm, this is a common mistake that I see in the classroom, where we forget to do this. So which one do you think is? Point to it on the screen, and do that in three, two, one. Yeah, so the relative pronoun which is this which here. It's not the which as in, "I'm a witch!" How would we spell witch? That would be W-I-T-C-H, okay? But this is the relative pronoun which, which we use in our complex sentences when we use a relative clause. And then, safty or safety? Hmm. How do I spell safety? Well, which one is it? Have a look. What do you think? And choose in three, two, one. Yeah, of course, 'cause it's the ey sound. It's the a split e sound, isn't it? Otherwise, the other word would be safty. I'm not saying safty. It's safety. It's the long ey sound. It's the a split e digraph. Okay, well done if you got those correct. It's very useful if you now take a minute and write the correct spellings on a piece of paper so that you have them ready to check in your writing. Some of these words probably are in your writing, and it's useful to check. So take a few moments and write those words down now. So pause the video. Okay, let's have a little think about the purpose of editing. What even is editing? So, editing is the process of making any necessary changes to a text or a video. When you edit, you decide what will stay and what will be changed. This is quite a tricky skill. I've got that here. It's a really difficult skill to master. Because when you're reading your writing, and what happens to me is that I read what I think I've written, which means that in my head, I have an idea of what I've written, and so even if it's not on the page perfectly, I read it like that. So what I suggest we do is that you read your writing out loud. Makes it much easier because then your brain can't trick you with what you're thinking and what you're reading. So editing is this process of making and going through and making changes. And you decide sometimes that some things go, some things need to be changed, and sometimes you might add some things in. So what does an editor do? Editor? You might have heard of that word. It is a job. It's an occupation. Occupation. So you can do this for a living. And there are people that are editors. And so what do you think an editor does? If editing is going through and making changes, what do you think an editor does? Tell me. What do you think? Ah, so an editor goes through a writer's work and checks for mistakes and makes improvements. Every author needs an editor. So every author will have an editor, because, like I said just before, is that when we are writing and we are thinking, sometimes our brain can trick us, and we can read what we think even though it might say something different on the page. It's a common thing. Quite often what happens is when you miss a word. Have you ever missed a word in your sentence? You've written your sentence, and you think it's all there and it's beautiful, and then you read it back quietly in your head, and you still think it's there, and then maybe your friend, or a parent, or a carer, or a teacher reads your sentence, and they go, "Hmm, you're missing a word." And you go, "But I really thought it was there." And it's because in your brain, you were thinking that word. 'Cause you had planned to put it in your writing, and you just forgot to put it down. And that happens with real life authors too. Every author has to go through and has an editor that reads their writing and makes changes. J. K. Rowling, she tried to get her books published, and they were rejected lots of times, and she had editors check her books. The most famous children's books. Roald Dahl, he had an editor. All of those authors will have had someone edit their work. And it's not a bad thing at all to edit. And really, a first draught should never be the final draught of your writing. So you should always edit your work and rewrite it, especially when you get to later on in your school career, and maybe even when you go to university, and you write essays. You would write your first draught, and then you would leave it maybe for a few days or a few hours, and come back to it, and then check again. And it's a really super important skill, but it's also a really difficult skill. It seems like it's quite easy, but it's actually quite difficult. And that is why we need to practise it. So why do we need to edit? Here's an example for you. Let's eat Ben! Let's eat, Ben! What do you notice about these two sentences? What is happening in, let's eat Ben? What does that imply? And then, say the second sentence that says, let's eat, Ben. Have some thinking time. Can you tell the screen? Tell me in the screen. What's different? Of course, let's eat Ben, means that we're about to eat Ben, and that's not what we're trying to say. We're trying to say, let's eat, Ben. So the second one, you'd say, "Let's eat, Ben." Like, "I'm ready to eat. I'm hungry. "Let's eat." And in the first one we're saying, "Let's eat Ben." We're actually eating Ben. So that one, tiny comma changes the meaning of that whole sentence. It's only got three words in the sentence, yet, with that one comma, it changes everything. So it's so important that we check really carefully, and that we check our writing really carefully. Otherwise, we end up with these mistakes and people would misinterpret it. So the first one I would say, "We're eating Ben." And the second one I'm saying, "Oh, they want to eat with Ben." So, be really careful that you have all the commas in the right place. Okay, let's practise some editing now. So here, I've got a sentence. I'm going to read it to you, and then, after, I want you to think about the mistakes. So let me just read it to you first. So you use your finger and try and track along the screen with me. So, Harriet Tubman dedicated her life to fighting inequality and injustice in America. She was a nurse, a civil rights activist, and a Underground Railroad conductor. She risked her own life and helped over 300 people to their freedom. Read on to find out more. Hmm, that sounds quite good to me. Hmm, what do you think? Did you notice anything? Hmm. What I'd like you to do now is to pause the video and just to point out any mistakes that you've noticed. So I'll do the first one for you. So use your finger and go, "Harriet Tubman. "Oh no, Miss has forgotten to capitalise the T for Tubman. "Oh, she needs to change that." And then, keep going. Okay, so you do that now. So pause the video and tell your screen or really me all the mistakes that I might've made. So do that now. Okay, so you should have paused the video, and you should have spotted some of the errors that I've made. Now remember, everyone. It doesn't matter if we make mistakes. This is all about improving our writing. And don't feel bad about having found some mistakes. It doesn't matter. We learn by improving and finding our mistakes and changing them. Mistakes are not a bad thing. So let's then check what I've done wrong. So let's just check. So, in that first sentence, I already pointed out and I said T needs to be capitalised for Tubman because Tubman is a proper noun. Then, I've got dedicated her life to fighting. Did you hear that I said fighting? But what did I write down on my screen? Well, I wrote fiting, didn't I? And that's the thing that I was talking about. Sometimes in our brains, we think one thing and so we read it as that, which is why it's helpful to do it out loud. So I need fighting. So I've changed and I've edited my spelling error. Her life to fighting inequality and injustice in America. Of course, I need a capital letter for America because America's a proper noun. And then, I've got a full stop. Good. Okay, so look at the next sentence. She was a nurse. Oh, of course, I'm listing items there, aren't I? Because I'm listing the jobs that she did. So nurse, civil rights activist, and Underground Railroad. So I need to separate my list with a comma. So nurse, comma, a civil rights activist, and then I've changed the spelling, and then I have and, because for the last one, I don't need a comma if I'm listing things. So it's comma and then and. And then, I've changed to an. I needed an n because my next word starts with a u. And a u is a vowel. And if I start my next word with a vowel, then I need an as my article, not a. So I added my n. And then, remember what I said about Underground Railroad. It's a tricky proper noun because we're talking about a really specific thing that happened. It's the name of the thing, so it's a proper noun. And then, I've got conductor. Okay, so I'm just going to read the whole sentence one more time 'cause it's really helpful to do that. She was a nurse, comma, a civil rights activist, and an Underground Railroad conductor. Well done. Okay, she. Oh, of course, I forgot to start my sentence with a capital letter. That happens. Okay, I've changed it. It's there. So, she risked her own life and helped. Oh yes, remember what we just said at the start? Helped is that verb in the past tense, and it's E-D for in the past. Helped over 300 people to their freedom. Ah, that spelling of their. Oh, it always gets me that one. And I'm talking about the freedom belonging to those people, so it's their, T-H-E-I-R. Not the there as in over there, or not the they're as in they are. It's their, belonging to them. So it's their freedom, T-H-E-I-R. The one I'd written was there as in over there. Uh-uh. Don't want that one. And then, I have, read on to find out more. Hmm. It's okay, but I can make it a bit more ambitious. So instead, I'm going to say, read on to find out more about this extraordinary female. Slightly more ambitious. Slightly more exciting to read. Phew! Hard work that was. So now, for your independent task, I'd like you to edit your writing. So I've made you a little checklist here 'cause these are some things that you want to be looking out for. Now, you've got to look out for capital letters and especially, those proper nouns. Check your spelling, and if you're not sure of a spelling, use a dictionary. Punctuation. Those commas, full stops, and apostrophes are things that we might miss. And then, of course, make sure that you check for sense. Does it make sense? Does it sound right? Is the order correct? Does my sentence starter work with the rest of my sentence? Is my who/which relative clause relevant to the whole main clause? Just have a think about those things. And then, of course, add any improvements to make your writing more ambitious. Now, that is quite a long list, and it's quite a lot to do. What I would suggest is that you do one at a time. So you check for capital letters. So go through your writing and check for capital letters. And go, capital letter and change it. And just focus on capital letters. Then, you might want to do your punctuation check, and go through, and go, "I'm just going to check that I got my commas. "Just going to check my full stops." And then, you might want to just check for spelling. And then, you might want to read it out loud, or maybe read it to someone that's near you or around you. It really is helpful to read it out loud, so even if you're in a room on your own, just do it out loud. I promise you it helps. And I've done that many, many times. And of course, you can always use a thesaurus as well to find words that are more ambitious and change those. So that is quite a big task, which I would love for you to do now. So pause the video and check and edit your writing, and then resume the video once you have finished that. So do that now. Good luck and enjoy. So you should have finished editing. I bet you're a bit tired after that. And I know I would be 'cause it's quite a big job. But fantastic job. You've now finished your entire biography. You've written an introduction, three main paragraphs, a conclusion, and you've edited all of your writing. So what I would suggest you do now, and you don't have to do this, but you might like to, is to publish your writing. So I love to, at the end of a writing unit, rewrite it all, and you might want to even type it up if you have access to a computer. But if you don't, just do neat handwriting. It really doesn't matter. And just rewrite your whole biography, so you have your perfect version on a page. And then, you could draw a picture of Harriet Tubman, or if you have a computer and access to one and a printer, you could print one off, but just drawing one is just as good and just as exciting to see. And then, you can add that on as well. And so then you have a final product of your biography. And of course, we would love for you to share that with the Oak teachers, but you can also share it with your own teacher when you go back to school or share it with your parents and carers or with other friends and family members. Show everyone your writing is what I'm saying. So, we've finished this lesson, but I would love for you to share your writing with Oak National. So you can post a picture of it, but make sure you ask your parent or carer to help you with this. And you can post it on Instagram, or Facebook, or Twitter and make sure you tag @OakNational and #LearnwithOak. I would absolutely love to see your writing, and I'll be watching out for it. So, give yourself a massive thumbs up and a pat on the back, and just go, phew! You've done it. Well done it and congratulations on finishing this unit. I hope to see you again. Bye, everyone!

To edit a biography

To edit a biography

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UnitEnglish / Inspirational figures - Biographical writing

English