To develop character in a story (Part 2)

Key Stage 1

English

Honey and Trouble: character

﻿Hi everyone, miss Fryer here, for lesson nine of our honey and trouble character unit. Last lesson we started to write the first part of the story, where we first meet the monkey. So we're trying to establish his character, and make sure that we are writing a character we care about. We are going to be carrying on with that today in today's lesson. I also left you with some trivia. I asked you how long you thought humans had kept dogs either for work or as pets. And I gave you a clue that it was a very long time, so how long did you think? A hundred years? Five-hundred years? A Thousand years? Ten-Thousand years? Even more than that? Well scientists aren't 100% sure, and some of them have slight disagreements. But they all agree that it was at least 15, 000 years ago, that humans first started keeping dogs. Which is a really really long time ago. We'll start our learning with a song. Then we're going to reflect on everything that we've learned and discovered so far. Before doing some shared writing, and then some more independent writing and editing. In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or paper, a pencil, and your brain. So pause the video now if you need to get any of those things. We're going to sing a song now, and it's all about that main inner quality of the monkey. His foolishness. I'll sing the fist verse to you all the way through, so that you can hear how it goes. It goes like this. ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ And that's what's makes him foolish. ♪ Can you hear? It's all about him being foolish. Now I'll sing a line. And you copy me. So it goes, ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ Can you copy? ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ Same words again. ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ And you again. ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ This one's a slightly different tune. ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ It goes up. Can you sing? ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ Can you sing that bit for me? ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ Good job. Should we try and sing that first verse all the way through? It's got quite simple actions that you can join in with. Okay, off we go. ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ Good job. Good singing everybody. Okay, the next verse is exactly the same tune. But it has different words. And the words go like this, ♪ He asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. ♪ Do that for me. ♪ He asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. ♪ And again. ♪ He asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. ♪ And then going up again. ♪ He asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. ♪ Goes up. ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ Let's do that second verse through. So he asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. Okay, off we go. ♪ He asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. ♪ ♪ He asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. ♪ ♪ He asked for trouble, but he wanted honey. ♪ ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ The last verse goes like this, it has, He doesn't think about why he got hurt. So we're going to hold our face like when sister tiger claws him. He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ It goes like that. Do you think you can join straight in with me? Same tune again. Doesn't think about why he got hurt. Twice, remember. ♪ He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ ♪ He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ ♪ He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ And then the last line is the last line of the song, it's going to go up like this. ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ Nice and high. Try that one for me. ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ Should we try it all the way through? I'll prompt you with the words, so that you know which verse is coming up. So remember the first verse is, he thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. Okay, are you ready? Sitting up nice and straight. ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. ♪ ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ He asked for trouble when he wanted honey. ♪ He asked for trouble when he wanted honey. ♪ ♪ He asked for trouble when he wanted honey. ♪ ♪ He asked for trouble when he wanted honey. ♪ ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ He doesn't think to know why he got hurt. He doesn't think to know why. Ooh, doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ ♪ He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ ♪ He doesn't think about why he got hurt. ♪ ♪ And that's what makes him foolish. ♪ Great singing everybody. That monkey, he's so foolish. We're just going to reflect on some of the learning that we have done so far, 'cause we've already done such a good job at writing the opening of our story. Remember that's the first box in our boxing. When we first meet the monkey. An opening to a story should hook you in, and make you care about the characters, because if you don't care about a character, then you won't care about the story, and you won't care how it ends. So make sure you have your description that you started in lesson 8 if you have it, and pause now if you don't. When we carry on with our writing today, we want to be always considering that writing tool kit. There are so many things that we can do to make a character that we care about, and it all stems from defining that main inner quality. For our monkey, it's his foolishness. It happens in the song, doesn't it. He thinks he knows, but he really doesn't know. That's something that he thinks, which is on of our writing tool kit things, thoughts and feelings, that makes him foolish He asks for trouble, but he wanted honey. That's something he does in his speech, that makes us think that he is foolish. And he does several things to be foolish, and we can describe him as looking a foolish way. Every line we write should make him sound foolish, because that's his main inner quality. So as we carry on with our shared writing today, adding to our writing from yesterday, keep that in your head. You'll need your monkey from lesson 7, so that you've got your other words that you wrote as adjectives. Those physical appearance ones. The action words. The speech words. And the thoughts and feelings ones. So pause the video now if you need to get your monkey. So here's what I wrote in lesson 8, I'm just going to read back through it to remind myself. I'd encourage you to read along with yours. And for now, you can read along with mine. Up in the trees a greedy monkey was watching. His thin, curly tail twitched with joy. Without stopping to think, he climbed down clumsily and stuck his finger in the sticky, sweet liquid. I've got in here some of those changes I made in our sad editing. I have some things I swapped, added, and deleted. We'll do that again later with the writing we do today. So I think it's about time that we wrote some speech. Don't you? That's the third thing in our writing tool kit. So I'm going to think about what he says when he tastes that sticky, sweet liquid. I remember when we did our writing sentences earlier in the unit, I wrote about him speaking in a loud voice, 'cause that's on my monkey. So I'm going to do that now. I'm going to borrow my sentence. I knew I wrote it for a reason. In a, I like loud, I could use a big voice, could use excited voice, so you might use a different word for yours. I think I'm going to stick with loud. In a loud v o i c e, that tricky c sound again. In a loud voice the monkey, w-o, w, monkey, the monkey, sight word, said, the monkey said, Ooh! Exclamation mark for a big feeling, 'cause he's so excited. Ooh! I like this! Another exclamation mark. So that sentence I borrowed from the sentences I wrote earlier on in the week. So it's a good thing to have practise, because you can use them later on in your writing. In a loud voice the monkey said, Ooh! I like this! The other thing I wrote on my monkey was about his excited chatter. So I want to get that in somewhere. Let me see. How about, he chatted excitedly to himself, 'cause that's a bit foolish, isn't it. Talking to yourself. And I want to show actions and speech to show that he's foolish. So I'm going to have that. He, capital letter again, ch a t t e r ed, and then an "ed" for past tense. He chattered excitedly, he chattered excitedly to himself as he ate it all up. I'm happy with that so far I think. Let's read it through. In a loud voice the monkey said, Ooh! I like this! He chattered excitedly to himself as he ate it all up. So I've got him talking in a loud voice, that's quite foolish. He's saying, Ooh! I like this! to nobody, that's quite foolish. And he's talking to himself as he eats, he's probably talking with his mouth full, and that looks very foolish indeed. So now it's time for you to have a go. You can use my sentences to help you. Maybe changing some of the words. Or maybe changing it completely. And then add on your own next sentence of what you think would happen next in our opening. So pause the video now, so that you can have a go. Welcome back. Now that you've hopefully written your extra sentence, you can see the one that I wrote during the pause point. It says, soon his fur was a sticky mess, because I wanted to talk about his fur, his physical appearance. Now it's time for us to edit our sentences. These are the things you want to look out for when editing. We want to see if it meets the main inner quality of the monkey. We want to then swap, add, or delete. So I'm going to bring up my writing, so that we can do it from mine. I'm looking first for whether I have defined the monkey's main inner quality, his foolishness. So I've got him being in a sticky mess. So his personality is that he is foolish, and I have said that he is a sticky mess. And now even his appearance looks foolish. So I'm happy that my sentence and the rest of what I've written today shows that he is foolish. Now I want to use my sad. My swap, add, and delete. So is there anything I want to swap, add, or delete? Ooh, I know. I think I'm going to swap the word ate, 'cause it's a bit boring, isn't it? I'm sure I can think of a better word to make him sound like he eats foolishly. Mmm. As he ate is all up. I know. I'm going to swap ate for the word gobbl, and then "ed" for past tense. Gobbled. Gobbled makes it sound like he is eating in a messy way, doesn't it? Makes him sound more foolish. So I'm going to do that. I also want to add something. I haven't added any adjectives, which tell me what his fur is like. And I remember on my monkey outline, I wrote that his fur was soft. I've written it's a mess here, which is my other adjective, but I haven't written that he was soft. So I'm going to add in the word soft. S o f t. Soft. Do I want to delete anything? No. You know what. I don't think I want to delete anything today. So I've swapped something, and I've added something. You might not want to swap, add, and delete. You might just want to do one of those things. But have a look now, and see if you want to swap, add, or delete anything to your writing. And then five finger check as normal. Now that I've checked it for main inner quality, and I've swapped, added, not deleted today, but you might have done. It's finally time for my five finger check. I need to make sure that I have got capital letters, finger spaces, spellings, full stops, and that is makes sense. That's so so important with every piece of writing we do. So pause the video now. I'm going to check my five fingers while you do yours, and resume once you finished. And that is it for lesson nine. We are getting really close to the end, guys. And I hope that you are pleased with your writing so far. I our final lesson, lesson 10, we're going to be finishing off our writing, so that we've got an amazing opening, and character description that we are really happy with. And hooks our reader to make him care about our character. Lesson 9 trivia now. The last bit of trivia for this unit. We started off with monkey trivia. We're going to end with monkey trivia. I don't know how many people are in your house, but it's normally quite a small number of people who live in human families. When I was growing up, it was just me, my mom, my dad, and my sister. Four people in my family in my house growing up. But some species of monkey live in huge family groups. And some of the biggest families are a Gelada baboons. So how many Gelada baboons do you think, might make some of the biggest families. How many Gelada baboons make the biggest monkey families, and live all together? Have a think. Have a guess. I will tell you at the start of our last lesson, 10. Bye!

To develop character in a story (Part 2)

To develop character in a story (Part 2)

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UnitEnglish / Honey and Trouble: character

English